Satisfy

I've been processing a lot of things. News from home, from friends, from family. Figuring out all my final projects. The fact that I'm leaving Senegal so soon. It just seems like so much has unraveled so quickly. I kept reciting God's promises to myself, and saying that because Christ is my joy and salvation, it was all well, but I couldn't make it true enough.

Jeremiah 31:25 says, For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish. (ESV)

The Amplified adds, For I will [fully] satisfy the weary soul, and I will replenish every languishing and sorrowful person. 

I wanted to dig into this, so I got out the dictionary...well I logged on to dictionary.com but you get it.

Fully: entirely or wholly.

Satisfy: to fulfill the desires, expectations, needs or demands of (a person, the mind, etc.); to give full contentment to; to put an en end to (a desire, want, need, etc) by sufficient or ample provision; to give assurance to; convince; to answer sufficiently, as an objection; to solve or dispel, as a doubt.

Replenish: to make full or complete again, as by supplying what is lacking, used up, etc; to supply with fresh fuel; to fill again or anew.

This is what I wanted. I wanted the reward of that promise. That's why I was clinging to the cross. But how would I get there?

Weary: physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc; fatigued; tired; characterized by or causing fatigue; impatient or dissatisfied with something; characterized by or causing impatience or dissatisfaction; tedious; irksome.

Languishing: becoming languid, in any way; expressive of languor; indicating tender, sentimental melancholy; lingering.

Languid: lacking in vigor or vitality; slack or slow; lacking in spirit or interest; drooping or flagging from weakness or fatigue; faint.

Sorrowful: the characteristic feeling of sadness, grief or regret associated with loss, bereavement, sympathy for another's suffering, for an injury done, etc; a particular cause or source of regret, grief, etc.

In order to be fully satisfied and replenished, we need first to be completely broken and surrendered. I had to be worn down, I had to be confused, I had to be angry, I had to be hurt. I had to be everything I was holding back. I could not continue on wavering in the middle. To be lifted up, I needed first to be brought low.

I kneeled at my bed and I sat before the cross. I cried out in agony. I pounded my fist, I sobbed. I let everything go. I wrote in my journal, surrendering the fact that the Lord's ways and thoughts are higher, and that I can't know them I can only trust Him. I asked for the grace to move forward, and for Him to light my path so I could see just the step in front of me. I felt my Father come towards me, and place His arm around me. I stayed there, as God just listened to me pouring out my heart.

And then, He gave me a song

Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades, never ending, Your glory goes beyond all things. And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out 


In just that one refrain, there was everything I needed to hear myself say. Lord, You are forever. Even when everything else in my life is going dark, Your light remains just as bright and is never to depart from me. Without end, You are leaps and bounds higher than anything I could encounter on earth. What I need most right now is to worship You, Lord Jesus, with all that I am, with a true heart. That alone will satisfy me. He told me what my own heart most needed - more of Him. When we worship, we learn more about who God is, and when we understand His character, we are better able to see Him revealed in our lives.

Because I had been broken, I was now ready to understand and see the power of worship.

So I will bless you as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in your name. Psalm 63:4


I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and I will glorify your name forever more. Psalm 86:12


I call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. 2 Samuel 22:4


Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually. 1 Chronicles 16:11


Satisfy

Thank You Jesus for being my all in all.