The Beginning

On August 15th, 2009, I took a walk to the poetry garden and dedicated my time at Beloit. I prayed, thankful for the opportunities now at my finger tips, and asked for guidance on the road. I hung that prayer on every wall I've lived in since then.

At 17, I, like all of us, thought I had it all figured out. I had a plan for Beloit College.

But it turns out, Beloit College had a plan for me.

Tonight, May 11th, 2013, journal in hand, I walked to the garden, realizing that the walk felt long not because Maurer is so much further than 840, but because it was not four minutes but four years in the making.

I sit at 21 and I can't believe what has happened and how far I've strayed. And I still and I think and I remember that tomorrow, I begin. I commence.

I will wear a cap painted with a cherished verse that perfectly captures how I feel about the last four years:

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; indeed I have a beautiful inheritance. Psalm 16:6

Lord, I see that you have made my lines fall pleasantly. You have had your hand on me this whole time, and I see now that my inheritance could not be more beautiful. I thank you for life in Christ, the anchor of my soul; without it nothing else matters or is possible. After that, I would need to spend the rest of my life attempting to adequately thank you for this time. What a joy it has been to be constantly surprised by grace and love and light. What a wonder to twist and turn and walk off the beaten path. And what a privilege to see you in all I do and am becoming.

Lord, you have blessed me infinitely more than I deserve and I sit here with a slideshow of memories running through my brain. I look back at what were once called mistakes and questionable choices and see lines falling pleasantly. I see those pleasant lines in the hurt and the tears and the doubt and the anger. And I look at the immediately recognized blessings and I smile so big because you have made beauty abound and in the depths of my soul. I am not the same as when I came in; you are changing me still so that my eyes might see your fullness.

Lord, I want to know and love you more. I want to sink deeply into your fathomless grace and I want to be unceasingly grateful. Grateful for friends and parents and advisors and classes and conversations and internships and sports and jobs and lectures and papers and books and fellowship and church and the swing and Rock River and Turtle Creek and every little piece of beloitering. Remind me to be grateful, Father, because I have so many reasons for it.

God, thank you will never be enough but it's all I have, so that is what I do.

In Christ alone, Amen.

This evening is much colder than its August counterpart. But also much warmer. In August, I could not have known what was about to happen, the people I'd meet, or the places I'd go. I sit in May, and flowers have bloomed and seasons changed. Countless people and experiences and places and moments have changed me and made me love all that Beloit means.

I know that Beloit is small and only a tiny piece of this world. But it is my piece and I am forever grateful that it is a great day to be a Beloiter!