Take a Deep Breath, Girl

Senior week was crazy. And exhausting. And wonderful. And it caught up to me right after graduation. I sat in the car with my parents I barely kept my eyes open until we went to lunch. I think I was too tired to eat. I went to bed early and slept in the latest I ever have. I woke up and scrolled through pictures and facebook notes, people missing Beloit and each other already.

I don't feel that yet. Maybe in the fall, when we don't come back. Maybe on a lonely night in Seattle. But right now, it feels so right. This is exactly what was supposed to happen - we work and we play and we live for four years together and then we go and do something else.

For the first time in too long, I don't have a schedule. I don't have class or work or practice or a final or a meeting or a reception or a party. I have both nothing and everything to do.

It may be a bit silly, but I have a lyric from "Fifteen" by Taylor Swift running through my head, "Take a deep breath, girl, it's the morning of your very first day".

Today is my first full day of not being a college student, but a graduate. That's weird. I've been in school for 17 of my 21 years, and now I'm not.

I take that deep breath because I need to. I'm so overwhelmed that it's manifesting itself in being underwhelmed. I have a lot of big things I need to do, and I don't think baby steps are an option at this point. I think I'm trying to jump all in.

My son, do not lose sight of these—
    keep sound wisdom and discretion,
²² and they will be life for your soul
    and adornment for your neck.
²³ Then you will walk on your way securely,
    and your foot will not stumble.
²⁴ If you lie down, you will not be afraid;
    when you lie down, your sleep will be sweet.
²⁵ Do not be afraid of sudden terror
    or of the ruin of the wicked, when it comes,
²⁶ for the Lord will be your confidence
    and will keep your foot from being caught.
Proverbs 3:21-26

I just now opened some of the graduation cards I received, and my grandma had written about Proverbs 3, especially those verses. I especially like that promise, "you will walk on your way securely". 

I take a deep breath and repeat, I will walk securely.