Going and Coming and Going

This post is in two parts that are loosely related

Part 1

I loved graduating on mother's day. I thought it was really cool to be able to celebrate everything my mom has done to get me here.

I have had the privilege to be at four Beloit College commencements, this last one of course being my own. At the first three, I cried. At my own, I did not. I did not say goodbye to friends, but see you later. I laughed and smiled and enjoyed my day a whole lot. I don't think it's caught up to me yet. I will probably cry later, but right now, it is just a great day to be a Beloiter.

I'm sitting at home in Waukesha just about 6 hours after I walked across the stage. I'm wearing sweatpants and watching Harry Potter and not even thinking about unpacking. This week was really busy, really exhausting, and really everything it should have been.

I made a list of all the things I need to do in the next few weeks. It's a lot. A lot a lot a lot. Things I've never done before and am not sure I know how to do, but I'm sure I will figure it out. I didn't know how to apply for college or get an internship or acquire a passport or write a resume or land a job but somehow I did anyway.

I am going to take at least one day off. I need that. But then, I go from one home to another to another.

It's still very unreal that I have left Beloit. That I am leaving Waukesha. And I will be arriving in Seattle. I know I can do this. And I want to, and I'm excited, but Beloit really gave me a whole lot. I am thankful. So so very thankful.

Part 2

For all those who wondered about the ambiguous personal project that I spent so much time working on, its contents may now be revealed.

On January 20th, 2011, I made one of the best decisions of my life when I said yes to friendship with Betsy Wynn. And today, on our 844th day as friends, we graduated.

Back in January of this year, I was watching Betsy crochet at track practice as she supervised our pole vaulting. I thought, "wow, I just love her". And an idea was born: for every day between 1/20/11 and 5/12/13, I would write out 1 thing I loved about her.

I worked for the next four ish months coming up with the list. I wrote on corners of pages and made memos in my phone and type type typed into my computer. I reminisced. I read old journals and blog posts - hers and mine. I scrolled through facebook records. I combed through over two years of history. I looked at the person running by my side and sitting across from me in the library and next to me on the bus and sitting on the floor of my room. I had prints done of pictures. I bought a red leather-bound traveling sketchbook. I did math, perfectly spacing the pictures and loves and pages so that the whole book would be full. I used the "find" function to make sure I hadn't repeated (I had: mattress wrestling, weird things she puts in macaroni and cheese, enthusiasm, and sister love from the top of my head) and replaced them. I glued pictures and wrote loves. On the day of our last final, I wrote the introduction. The morning of graduation, I tucked an extra picture in the back pocket with a final note to close it out.

How I spent a good chunk of time, falling more in love with a beautiful and strong person with every minute

And even though we're going to hang out this week and this isn't really goodbye, I sat and watched her open this gift.

I saw her look at it curiously; the cover simply reads "844". This was on purpose. I wanted to preserve the surprise and the wonder as long as I could.

I saw her light up at the inside cover: "To Betsy. Love Kate. January 20th, 2011 - May 12th, 2013 - ???".

I watched her face change as she read the introduction, featuring a prime quote from Anne of Avonlea: "If we have friends we should look only for the best in them and give them the best that is in us, don't you think? Then friendship would be the most beautiful thing in the world".

I listened to her mom, "Did you really write in that whole book?!"

When she said she was excited to read it, I started flashing through what she was about to read:

18. The way you number lists of random things to tell me.

51. Your honesty

134. "I would hope I'd realize you were dead before death emergency alarm had to go off"

287. Your messy backpack

336. How you check the beds to make sure they're fun to jump on

432. That you daily challenge me to be better

536. The day you got a job!

611. When you ask me if I'm going to the library and you really mean, please come to the library with me

771. That you took human rights to be a more informed person

824. How much my sister likes you

841. Turning breakdowns into breakthroughs

This is easily one of the coolest and most rewarding gifts I have ever given. I love love, and this is definitely evidence of that.

To Betsy, I repeat myself in saying: thank you for being you, with me.

And to Beloit, I say thank you. I can't imagine what my list to you would look like.