It feels weird to be back in Beloit, without any of the people who've made my experience of the city and the campus what it is. With the spectacular weather, the campus is so pretty, but in an eerie sort of way.
I went for a walk down by the river and was reminded of the fact that my favorite cafe here had moved. Not far, but far enough for me. I don't know why it bothers me so much that it moved. It's not like I expected everything to stay the same when I went away. Maybe I didn't understand what different would feel like.
It's not like I stayed the same. I still second guess myself as I reach for food with my left hand. I don't have the same problem with expressing affection or care through touch. I'm more likely to spend time in a living room than shut off by myself.
But I think the best part of changes is the way that the more that changes, the more you can see what's stayed the same. And those are the forevers, the constants that keep us secure.
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