Being Known

I'm coming to an end of a journal. I didn't have a back up on hand, because someone gives it to me, or I just find one I really love and buy it even thought I don't need it yet. The last time I didn't have a backup, I ended up making an emergency trip because I ran out of pages unexpectedly and I was stuck with a journal I picked out haphazardly. I am never letting that happen again

I am not artsy.

But I got it in my head that this time, I was going to design my own journal. I went to this INCREDIBLE art supply store near my house and spent about 20 minutes in the sketchbook/journal area picking out a white, 220 lined page half german book. Then I spent the next half hour selecting paints and glitter for it. A nice man asked if I needed help but I said no. When he rang me up, he asked if I'd found everything and when I said yes, he said, "I had confidence that you would"

So I went home and wondered how I was going to decorate this thing.

I've been listening to a sermon series called "I AM", and it's based on who Jesus claims to be in the Gospel of John. Of course, the way, the truth and the life played a role, and I remembered that talk that I gave at the beginning of the semester. I talked about who Jesus is and who I'm not, and how those things are linked in my understanding of the gospel, in my faith, and in the way I see the world.

And I remember the woman.

The woman who came to draw water.

The woman who was told she should be asking for it from a man with no bucket.

The woman who was known as a whore.

The woman who Jesus decided to meet.

The woman who realized living water stood before her.

The woman who said,

"Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?"

I don't think I would ever find a journal with John 4:29 printed on it. It's not a popular verse. It's not well known.

But it tells me that I am well known.

I don't know why that matters so much to me. I don't know why that fact has buried itself in my heart and cause peace like a river to flow through my being. I don't know why I'm obsessed with the more than 700 uses of the word yada (to know, to be known, to be deeply respected) in the Old Testament. And I don't know why I cry every time I read through that un-named woman's story.

But I know that God's pursuit of my heart has been complete and beautiful. I know that he has drawn me with chords of kindness and lavished his love upon me, gracing me out of his fullness. And I know that he knows all I ever did and he still made himself known to me. I feel like a woman who is trembling as I walk down the aisle to my groom, because he has waited for me and I have been so unfaithful. And he's grinning and he takes my hand and says, "I know you. And I want you to know that I love you, and nothing you do is going to make me stop". I cry because he is far too good for me, and I try to run away but, he's holding me and won't let go until I've given him my heart. And I do, and even though I keep cheating on him, he only pursues me harder. He relentlessly pursues me, no matter what.

That's what it's like to be known by Jesus.

And so that's what's on my journal,

"Come, see a man who told me all that I ever did. Can this be the Christ?"