Neither Here Nor There

I have now been home from Senegal almost 3 months. I have still spent more of 2012 abroad than stateside, but the day is fast approaching when my time in the US will surpass my time in Senegal. Today, as I put on an outfit that I would not have worn "before" and could not have worn "during", I realized I was looking at a visual representation of a life-changing experience.

I put on a pair of jean shorts that hit a few inches above the knee, and the tank top I had made out of the fabric my village host mom gave me, a vibrant pattern in Senegal's colors with cut outs of Africa. I could not wear shorts like these while in Senegal, but I would not have had this unique top without going there. I am not who I was before, but I am also not who I was during. I live in the after. I remember coming home and eating a bissap jam and peanut butter sandwich. Our peanut butter isn't in Senegal, and bissap jam isn't in the US. Again, I was putting together two things that don't usually inhabit the same space.

It's been fun to see what elements of my life in Senegal that I've held on to, and have now integrated them into who I am now. I still have the urge to speak to children and pets in Wolof. Carolyn, Gabby, and Nathaniel now respond to "Kay" (come here). One of the little girls I coach is named Addie. I called her Xadi on accident once, and now she thinks it's fun to have an African name so she tells everyone that's what her name is. "Praise God" is a more immediate reaction, "I am well, praise God". I still enjoy being on time, but being late no longer makes me anxious. I'm not so afraid to let things happen when they happen.

Processing and downloading hasn't happened overnight, because I can never predict when something will provoke something else I'd learned or experienced while in Senegal. Reading A Holy Ambition was heartbreakingly moving when I considered the fact that I met with some of the desperately unreached people in the world. And that was just last week. It's all a gradual understanding.