Take My Hand

I'm coming to terms with the fact that this summer is just going to be hard. I feel the need to repeat Mother Teresa, "I know God will not give me anything I can't handle. I just wish that He didn't trust me so much" I think the hardest part of it is feeling alone. My friends are scattered, my family is in desparate need of healing, and I'm working on Sundays so I can't even go to church. I work just about every day and always come home tired. I'm grateful I have this job, but it doesn't leave me time or energy for socializing with my wonderful grandparents, aunt, uncle, and cousins whom I absolutely adore.

I feel like I don't belong at home anymore; what I once knew no longer is. What once welcomed me now just tolerates my presence. I run now 10 or more times a week, just to get out and think. I have a hard time getting close enough to the Lord to really hear Him at home; I don't know what it is, but something blocks me. But running, oh, I feel so free. I see vibrant, encouraging images and I race along, unsure of my direction, but very sure of Who's leading.

I wrote a song awhile ago, and the last bridge says, "And I don't know where I'm running, but I'm running after You. Your open arms will hold me close in everything I do" I can't think of anything better to describe how I feel. Sometimes I pray that as I run.




Lord, be with me. Let me be overwhelmed by Your presence. Remove these feelings of loneliness; be welcomed into my body. May Your life and goodness be revealed in my own.

For I the LORD thy God will hold thy right hand, saying unto thee, Fear not; I will help thee. Isaiah 41:13

Know ye not that they which run in a race run all, but one receiveth the prize? So run, that ye may obtain. And every man that striveth for the mastery is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a corruptible crown; but we an incorruptible. I therefore so run, not as uncertainly; so fight I, not as one that beateth the air. 1 Corinthians 9:24-26