As Long As I'm Here

Yesterday was a long day for me, emotionally. Let's talk about it.

After I got done with some odd jobs around work for the morning, I checked my phone.

My friend: I have something to tell you.
Me: Yes?

She went on to drop something huge on me that I wasn't expecting; I thought it was a joke before she explained further (I'm not going to say what or who it is, because that's rude and a breach of trust). She was very conflicted about this. I have absolutely no experience dealing with this type of thing, nothing even remotely close, so I know it was Christ's love and kindness when I responded, "do you want to talk about it?" Selfishly, I almost hoped she'd say no - what could I possibly have to tell her? But, of course she said she'd love to, but later, after finals.

So I'm sitting there crying because I love her so much and am just imagining all the things she's feeling, trying to get a sense for where she's coming from . And then I get anxious about our pending conversation. She has so many other friends who have more experience in this department. But then, suddenly, I was overwhelmed with this tremendous sense of gratitude towards the Lord. I just met this girl this semester, but we've become pretty close. I had to just thank God for the fact that He put us together as friends and for preparing both of us for that very day and situation. As difficult as it was, I felt so blessed to see the way everything had been according to His plan. I also felt very grateful for the fact that I didn't have anything to do the rest of the day; I spent almost all of my time in prayer, listening closely for the words I needed to speak.

I kept getting verses about God's faithfulness, His love, and His constant presence. The Lord was telling me that although my friend didn't understand or know Him yet, He could love her through me, and that I had to just be there for her in Christ's love. And I think she really did understand that I was there for her and I wasn't judging her; I love her too much for that. The same way that God doesn't see our sin when we are in Christ, I did not see what she'd done, because that's not who she is.

I came out of this so amazed that my friend would trust me for something like this, but even more amazed that God would trust me. He used me to give His love away. That's what truly incredible here.

I knew God wasn't going to give me a week off with no purpose or use for them. As long as I'm here, I might as well do something.



I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely: for mine anger is turned away from him. Hosea 14:3

And the Lord was gracious unto them, and had compassion on them, and had respect onto them, because of his covenant with Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, and would not destroy them, neither cast he from his presence as yet. 2 Kings 13:23

And he heard the Lord say unto him, "I have loved you with an everlasting love; therefore I have continued to extend faithful love to you" Jeremiah 31:3