Some scholars believe that Paul may have been suicidal, based on passages in Philippians 1 and other epistles where he says that dying is gain, and that he is excited to meet Christ, who he's served in his ministry.
I don't think they really understand Paul, or what it's like to meet the person of Jesus and to strive to die for Him daily. See when you really commit your life to Christ, I mean, really surrender yourself, the Lord is your life. Earth or Heaven, that's your life. And on earth, you're constantly surrounded by pressures and stress and temptations, distractions from your God. In Heaven, though, that's all you have. You get to spend every minute reveling in the awe and wonder of God. You get to meet Jesus face to face, touch His scars. The Church gets to be married to Him, and partake in the bridal feast. That sounds just incredible!
I agree with Paul. I have some of these "suicidal" verses on my wall. If I died tomorrow, I don't even think I could be disappointed. I'd be thrilled to meet my Lord and Savior. Does that make me suicidal? I don't think so. As much as I look forward to being with God 24/7, I wouldn't take my life to do so. I'm submitted to His plan and His timing. And if He's got things for me to do here, I'll do them with joy.
Either way, it's a dance. Let God do the leading.
Lord, I am so excited to dance with You, here and in Heaven. Thank You so much for welcoming me into Your eternal arms. In Jesus, Amen.
For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. Philippians 1:21
Whom have I in heaven but thee? And there is none upon earth that I desire beside thee. Psalm 73:25
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