The First Marriage

In the beginning God created…

A story so familiar it’s laughable. It’s made its way beyond the confines of Christian and Jewish homes, and into pop culture references. But how often do we read it, and I mean really read it? My pastor challenges us to “read the Bible until it reads you”.

Try it.

This week, I was particularly struck by the beauty of the first marriage, as well its pain –

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. Genesis 1:27

The Lord God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. And the Lord God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die. Genesis 2:15-17

God gave man (Adam) the commandment he was to follow, before He gave him a wife (Eve).

The man gave names to all livestock and the birds of the heavens and to every beast of the field. But for Adam there was not found a helper fit for him. 2:20

Now different bends have used and abused this passage. On one of the spectrum, we have people claiming that man needed a helper because he couldn’t do his job on his own so God had to send a woman to get things done right. On the other end, we have people saying that woman is nothing but an afterthought. But the beauty is that neither side is right. Keep reading.

So the Lord God caused a deep sleep to fall upon the man, and while he slept he took one of his ribs and closed up its place with flesh. And the rib that the Lord God had taken from the man he made into a woman and brought her to the man. Then the man said, “This at last is bone of my bones, and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called Woman, because she was taken out of Man”. 2:21-23

See? Woman was taken from Man’s side, and brought to his side. And he claims her as his own. And yes, she helps him, as his partner, as one who is his.

Therefore a man shall leave his father and his mother and hold fast to his wife, and they shall become one flesh. And the man and his wife were both naked and were not ashamed. 2:24-25

Honor! Service! Freedom! This is biblical marriage. This is beauty.

But it didn’t last long –

Now the serpent was more crafty than any other beast of the field that the Lord God had made. He said to the woman, “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden?’” 3:1

Ah. Look how the serpent twists the words that God said. I don’t have an answer to this question, but I wonder why he went after Eve rather than Adam. Adam couldn’t have been that much more difficult to manipulate than Eve, because he willingly ate the fruit his wife gave him, though he knew it was wrong.

And the woman said to the serpent, “We may eat of the fruit of the trees in the garden, but God said, ‘You shall not eat of the fruit of the tree that is in the midst of the garden, neither shall you touch it, lest you die’” 3:2-3

Remember when God told Adam not to eat the fruit of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil? It was before Eve was created. So how did she know this? Simple, her husband told her, for her protection. What a thought – that Eve, who came second, learned from her husband, to follow God and obey His ordinances. Have you really thought about how much relationship advice is really in these chapters? Isn’t it amazing?

So when the woman saw that the tree was good for food, and that it was a delight to the eyes, and that the tree was to be desired to make one wise, she took of its fruit and ate, and she also gave some to her husband who was with her, and he ate. Then the eyes of both were opened, and they knew that they were naked. And they sewed fig leaves together and made themselves loincloths. 3:6-7

Woman, who was meant to follow, took the lead. Man tags along when he was meant to lead and protect. So much is revealed, right from the beginning. And how often do we miss it? Eve’s sin, like all sin, is relational. It fractured the relationship she had with God, who would come looking for her and she would wide, but it also took away the freedom she had with her husband. It brought shame where there was meant to be none. What a sadness there is in that. And it continues –

He said, “Who told you that you were naked? Have you eaten of the tree which I commanded you not to eat?” The man said, “The woman whom you gave to be with me, she gave me the fruit of the tree, and I ate” 3:11-12

Adam blames God and he blames Eve. But He claims no fault of his own, though he knew the commandments, though he was given a wife to teach and to protect.

Then the Lord God said to the woman, “What is this that you have done?” The woman said, “The serpent deceived me, and I ate” 3:13

Woman takes no blame for herself. And so a relationship that began in love and freedom continues in doubt and fear and shame. But of course, God still loves His children, and He covers them and blesses them with children, many children, and then of course, the Child.

God made it good. We broke it. He makes a promise. He fixes it. He will fix it completely.

It’s the gospel.

And I’m also pretty sure it’s my favorite Bible passage on marriage. No one’s going to be reading 1 Corinthians 13 at my wedding. Genesis 2 and 3 please :)