Church, Let's Talk

I was checking a blog I read regularly and realized that there is more or less a rotation of subject matter: marriage, how involved Christians should be in politics, raising kids, preaching, studying the Bible, why young people are leaving the church blah blah blah blah blah. I'm tired. I read 17 different "Christian responses to prop 8" and I wanted to crawl in a hole and forget I knew those people burning bridges instead of building them.

Sometimes people make good points - new insight - but it's a lot of the same and it can be a lot of nothing. I want us to talk about the real, messy suffering that we seem to be missing.

Today I read the testimony that Castro's victims gave at the hearing during which he was sentenced to life in prison plus 1,000 years for the 937 counts of kidnapping, aggravated assault, sexual assault and a whole host of other horrible awful things. For 10 years, he held 3 women as prisoners; two of whom were minors. 1 had his child while there, and if you think these 4 people who have now been set free aren't going to deal with this the rest of their lives, you're crazy. Or stupid. The victims stood and faced the man who has hurt them more than most people will ever know and they told their story. For 10 years, they'd been silenced, and finally someone was listening.

And what, church, do we have to say to that?

I read about a half dozen big Christian blogs several times a week, and do you know what they had to say?

Nothing.

Castro is an extreme case, you say.

Exactly.

But I will humor you.

When, church, is the last time we talked about what it really means to respect women?

Did I blink when we were telling our sons that Eve was made from Adam's rib, and placed by his side so they could help one another, and not as an object to be used?

How have we reached out to victims of rape and sexual assault?

We will tell you how to pray and how to give money and go on mission trips and how to date and not date but ask the average church going evangelical to talk about rape culture and I bet you anything they will go quiet. (Ann Voskamp did write a brilliant piece on Stubenville. Point for you).

If this line of thinking is because I went to Beloit where we are encouraged to challenge norms and to think for ourselves and fight back then it is a really stinking great day to be a Beloiter because when it comes to this, the church should have everything to say.

And when I say everything, I mean do not throw out cliches. Don't say we live in a fallen and broken world. We get that. Don't say our views of relationships and sex have been perverted. We get that too.

And please, please, don't say our culture is out of control. Because we create and destroy culture by our participation or lack thereof.

God creates and will make all things new and Jesus, only Jesus can save.

But even though we can't rescue every soul, we are called to love our neighbors - all of them. And if you are going to love your neighbor, you have to know them. You have to be present.

We have to know how to react to rape "jokes" and how to support survivors and how to listen, really listen when they tell their stories.

Because silence does nothing. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away, it just gives it room to grow. And if our silence contributed even one ounce to building a man like Castro, then we should be ashamed of the culture that we have created around ourselves.

So please, let's not be afraid to talk. And if we don't know the words, let's learn them. Because I don't want to go another day feeling like I am the only one bothered by the fact that the people who claim to know all about great sex don't care how desperately abused our neighbors are.