The Wall

I am exhausted. I am physically, emotionally and mentally drained. I am not sleeping enough or eating all that great and track is hard and I'm excited and pensive and sad and a little scared and my classes don't matter but I still have to do them and my thesis is hard and my compulsion makes it harder. Spiritually, I am actually doing quite well, however. Happy Holy Week!

In any event, I constantly feel like I'm behind, even though I'm not. I had finally given up being anxious and stressed, and then I grew anxious about not being anxious. Betsy has kept me from sitting under a table in the library, but every hour has been a struggle.

For those of you not familiar with distance running, in the 26.2-mile marathon, there is a phenomenon called the wall. This happens at about mile 20. You are clearly a pretty capable runner to have made it that far, and comparatively, you really don't have that much further to go. But in that moment, the finish seems impossibly far away and every step takes everything you have.

That is how I feel right now. I am almost done. The end is in sight. But I still have to get there and sometimes I just don't want to do what it takes.

The lines have fallen for me in pleasant places. Indeed I have a beautiful inheritance. Psalm 16:6

I think one of the hardest things right now is putting the Biblical truths I know into practice. Because even if these are my pleasants, I still want to sleep but I have things to do.

Ok I'm done whining now.

Here's the playlist I've been finding solace in