My heart drops to my stomach as I hang up the phone; I suddenly feel as though I'm gasping for every breath.
It's a night for the ugly beautiful.
Can I, right now, say, the lines are falling for me in pleasant places? Can I say my inheritance is beautiful?
It's a night for red eyes and labored breath and avoiding your hall-mates on the way to the bathroom so they won't have to ask what's wrong
It's a night for fleece blankets and the ugliest sweater and softest leggings
It's a night to replay the soothing words like broken cassette tapes that won't stop repeating
I open my journal to write it out, and I see a quote from the Jesus Storybook Bible
But God's plan was still working
Heart still heavy, I pick up my guitar, foolishly thinking I can sing and play and worship but not actually have to feel anything or mean what I'm saying
I know what I should play, but I don't want to - I can't say that
But as I lean away from God, He draws me into the Holy of holies, and I sing,
I'm trading my sorrows...I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
Yes Lord, Yes Lord, Yes, Yes Lord
Yes, Lord. I will take what You give me, and I will be grateful, because
One act of thanksgiving when things go wrong with us is worth a thousand when things are agreeable to our inclinations - Saint John of Avila
It's a night for too much ice cream
It's a night for hearts pounding
It's a night for breathing like you just finished a 5k
It's a night to sing,
I will enter His gates with thanksgiving in my heart
I will enter His courts with praise
I will say this is the day that the Lord has made
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me gla-a-ad
He has made me glad
He has made me glad
I will rejoice for He has made me glad
It's a night to stare up at the biggest ugly-beautiful, the cross, the tomb and remember how the story ends; hope is coming.
It's a night for cell phones on loud and charged and not out of your sight for a second, just in case
It's a night for waiting and wondering and helplessness
It's a night for the ugly beautiful
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