Guard your heart above all else, for from it springs the wells of life. Proverbs 4:23 (I have no idea what translation that is. It may very well be the Kate Finman remembers key words and phrases translation)
But what does it mean?
What are you guarding your heart from?
The heart is a tricky thing in the Bible, because not only is it called "deceitful and wicked"(Jeremiah 17:9) , but we are also told that its pride has the power to deceive us (Obadiah 1:3), and we are promised that we will be set free from our hearts (Jeremiah 3:17). Ezekiel 36 tells of God's promise to remove our heart of stone and give us a heart of flesh that is sensitive to His voice.
So our heart isn't all bad, especially in Christ.
This story of our hearts is the same as the story of our lives, of all human history:
God made it good
We broke it
He's fixing it
He will restore it completely
Creation
Fall
Promise
Redemption
New Creation
I'm in a new position. I'm trying to get to know someone, and let him get to know me. At first I was like, oh my gosh what do I do I have to guard my heart. It was pretty frustrating for both of us, honestly. We were stuck in small talk. We weren't going anywhere. And if you literally don't move, you won't even be able to tell if you are going anywhere. It's like getting in the car and not even starting the engine.
So what do you do? Do you just start spilling your guts? Do you get in the car with a full tank and no map and just drive until you can't anymore?
I don't think that's the answer either. That sounds like a recipe for disaster, actually.
First of all, if the person you're talking to isn't a man of God, don't even get in the car with this guy. He won't be able to lead the way you'll need him too. He won't value guarding his own heart, and he won't be anywhere near as invested in being a good steward to your heart either. It's not worth it.
Secondly, LET HIM LEAD. It won't kill you. It might actually blow your mind.
Let me explain. I was paranoid about giving away too much that I was saying too little. So he took a risk and put a little gas in the car. Not enough to crash and burn, but enough for a trip to run some errands. By his leading, I was free to reciprocate equally. Girls are smart. I like just being able to match where he's at. And since he meets the first stipulation, he's trying just as hard as I am to honor and glorify the Lord. He's not going to purposely lead me into sin, because he's working to keep himself unstained from the world.
And I'm not saying never take any initiative. If you really respect something he's doing, say so. If you love how he's honoring you, tell him. Do it creatively if you want to. But it's wise not to be the boundary pusher. Just because you're doing something different doesn't mean you have to be crossing a line.
Then, ask your questions, even if they sound silly. It's crazy what happens when you just say, "How can I help you get to know me better?" No mystery, no games. You might be surprised when he's not asking to hear about every hope and dream and fear you've ever had, but rather what makes you think your job is fun or what you would do at a party of mostly unfamiliar people.
All the while, seek counsel. Gather a few close friends and mentors to pray for you, check in, and ask how you're doing. And pray for the Holy Spirit to give them insight into the motives of your heart. It's a scary, humble thing to pray, but it can be so helpful to say, "God, if my motives are wrong and I get so clouded I can't see You, please give _________ the wisdom and courage to call me out on it".
I'll probably keep learning about this forever. But for now, that's more or less it. I don't feel like I'm drowning, and I feel very safe and secure and at ease. So this advice can't be terrible, right?
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