His Grace is Deeper Still

It's Sunday night, always a favorite time of the week for me. I'm refreshed from good preaching and worship with the saint and fellowship with God and His people.

It's raining, and the cats are sleepy and purring.

The house is quiet; Elizabeth sits reading Elizabeth Smart's story (Side note: read this. Everyone should read this, just trust me), and I sit dwelling in the Word, begging to be washed with it.

I just finished a speed read of the Bible this morning, so I could have gone anywhere. I started in Isaiah, but felt drawn into Proverbs.

And if you didn't know this about me, Proverbs is the absolute hardest book of the Bible for me to read - yes, harder even than Numbers. It has this way of showing me exactly where my heart is, and I don't always like what I see. I read and I listen and I feel those heart level questions begging for answers.

The Spirit of Truth is digging into the depths of every motive of my heart and I come face to face with my failure.

I read:

Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the Lord, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones. 3:7-8 

I like thinking I know. How often do I assume my own wisdom?

My son, do not despise the Lord's discipline or be weary of his reproof, for the Lord reproves him whom he loves, as a father the son in whom he delights. 3:11-12

Do you know what I often do about God's reproof? I run from it. I don't like being told that I am wrong so instead of appealing to Christ my advocate to make me right, I run away to dwell in my ignorance.

Ponder the path of your feet, then all your ways will be sure. 4:26 

I have to keep asking myself: Where am I going? What am I doing? Why am I doing this? I have to humble myself before a holy God and put myself in His hands.

I spent the morning being told that I have an advocate. I have a redeemer. His name is Jesus. I have Him right now. He saved me once for all and He saved me fully. He said, "It is finished" and then He sat down at the right hand of the Father where He lives ever to make intercession for me.

And as I read and pray through my sin, I remember all of this. The pages that chronicle my sin are covered by His grace. My rescue. And I hear the strains of "You Alone Can Rescue" through my earbuds -

Who, oh Lord, could save themselves, 
Their own soul could heal? 
Our shame was deeper than the sea
Your grace is deeper still

When the Holy Spirit starts digging up my dirt, it's not to tell me I have to do more or try harder. It's to point me to Jesus, to the One who has already dealt with it. And it's amazing, because He gives more grace, grace upon grace.

You alone can rescue, You alone can save
You alone can lift us from the grace
You came down to find us, led us out of death
To You alone belongs the highest praise 

Sin runs deep in the human heart. But, praise the Lord, His grace is deeper still.