I just ran at NCAA D3 Midwest Cross Country Regionals (sounds official, right?) I didn't win, or place, or even pr. Actually not only did I come in dead last, but I also ran 2 minutes slower than my last race. It shouldn't feel this good. But I have never experienced such pure joy after finishing a race.
The whole time I was running, I was smiling. I heard my teammates cheering me on. And I repeated this, "Breathe and relax. Then smile because this moment is the only one you have for sure. When Jesus came for you, He dealt with all of your sin and darkness. All the frustration, all the jealousy, the shame, the pride, and the bitterness in your heart. He took care of that with those six hours spent on a cross. Christ didn't die for you to have a bad attitude. He died so you could be free" And then I'd smile a little bigger.
I reflected on what I did two years ago almost to the day: I qualified for my fourth YMCA National gymnastics championship. But God had another plan for me. He showed me over the next month how gymnastics had become an idol in my heart. I would skip church for meets, and youth group for practice. I spent more time making goals for each practice and listening to my floor music than I did in His Word and singing songs to Him. I felt Him asking me to quit, if I trusted Him. It was so very hard, but I was obedient.
I gave up the sport I'd lived and loved for 13 years and God gave me a new one - cross country - and I was really really bad at it. I hated running. People, including myself, thought I'd really jumped off the deep end. I was essentially stepping off that medal podium and becoming the lowest of the low.
And as I ran those 3.75 miles today, in a field of 250 amazing runners, many of whom have been running years and years just for the chance to race in that meet, I just thanked God for who He is - good, and ever faithful. I trusted Him when He told me to quit gymnastics, and I cried about it, but I did it. He pushed me into running, and when He wouldn't let me quit, I stopped fighting it. God has taught me so much through distance running, it's incredible! As I submitted my utmost for His highest, He drew me in nearer.
When I walked up to the start line, I was jumping up and down to, "I will sing it when the sun is shining/I will scream it in the dark: You are faithful! " (Yes, I did look somewhat foolish, but I made my anxious teammates laugh so it was all good)
And when I finished, still, I was singing, "You are faithful, You are faithful"
Read this out loud: God, Lord of the Universe, Creator or all things, is faithful to us- a pile of sinners with nothing left to bring, and not just faithful, but faithful to death on a cross. God is faithful. And He is so powerful and strong that He can use some of our weakest, most humbling moments to show us how true that really is.
God knew that I would learn this through quitting my strength, gymnastics, and embracing my weakness, running. He knew this was one way He could get me to trust Him. He made me do something I could not do so that I would see what He can do. I gave up what I held dear and grabbed on to something far less glamourous. But through His Spirit, it was made beautiful and precious and dear. God is so awesome!
Because of the Lord's faithful love, we do not perish; His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! Lamentations 3:22-23
Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23
No comments:
Post a Comment