Confessions of a DD

"Hey Kate, what are you doing Saturday night?"

"To be determined."

"Do you think you could be the designated driver for a car for Eck's (our coach) 11/11/11 party?"

"Sure"

When I said yes, I honestly didn't know what I was getting myself into. Usually things at our coach's house are pretty chill. There are people drinking, but they're not sloppy; it's just people hanging out and talking, and is over by midnight or so. But I forgot the extent of our coach's 11 obsession and the fact that a ton of alumni were there, ready to get this party started. I drove a car of 3 girlfriends and 1 of the girl's boyfriend to the party around 8:30, and the first part was pretty enjoyable. People were drinking, yes, but no one was trashed and it gave me a chance to catch up with some old friends. I even did some dancing.

Things took a turn for the worse just before midnight, when it was decided that pants were to come off, and people were dancing around in their underwear. By this point, many were totally wasted, and clothing kept coming off until it was just underwear (and bras for girls). Our coach was also drunk. Now, as I watched the scene steadily declining, with all its perversion and suggestive dance moves, I felt embarrassed to be there. It was appalling. I am adamantly against drunk driving, though, and there are multiple reasons I'm sure God had me there (that I won't go into in detail about here).

My four drunken passengers were ready to go around 2:30am, and one passed out in the car on the way home. I was thanked profusely for driving, and again this morning, but I still feel ill about it. I didn't do anything, but I'm still carrying a sense of shame and a heavy heart. And now this morning, I'm going to go try to meet with the Lord and His saints, but I feel so dirty. I know all the verses about being washed and forgiven and clean, but only time devoted to Jesus will heal this broken heart right now.



Lord, tell me again that I'm innocent. I don't believe in right now, and I need You so badly. I'm crying out to You, Father. You amaze me, and I believe this is Your way of showing me a new dimension of Your amazing grace. In Jesus' name, Amen

Come now, and let us reason together,”
Says the LORD,

“ Though your sins are like scarlet,
They shall be as white as snow;
Though they are red like crimson,
They shall be as wool. Isaiah 1:18

Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;
Wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow. Psalm 51:7

Therefore if the Son makes you free, you shall be free indeed. John 8:36

As far as the east is from the west, So far has He removed our transgressions from us. Psalm 103:12

I, even I, am he who blots out your transgressions, for my own sake, and remembers your sins no more. Isaiah 43:25