6 days slow

When I first went to the chiropractor and did an initial consultation, he told me he thought I was in the 98th percentile of most active people he knew. It's not hard, really, when you teach gymnastics for your job. And you like to bike to work. And often walk to yoga. And oh yeah the yoga happens two or three or even four times a day. Days off might occasionally mean watching Netflix or drinking pots of tea at your favorite haunt between yoga classes but often they mean hiking or subbing or teaching a workshop just for fun. 

Before this break, I hadn't taken a true day off, with no physical activity, since...July? That sounds right. 

With three days off in the last two weeks, it's practically like I've stopped. 

I knew it was coming. I mentally prepared for it, just in case I got anxious when it actually happened. This might sound a little crazy to you, but for me, it was important. I knew I wouldn't be practicing the day I traveled to New York, Christmas Day, or Wednesday in Waukesha (today). I didn't want to be surprised or frustrated or caught off guard. 

New York was such a crazy trip - with tons of walking ( at least one day with over 30,000 steps, according to my phone!) and a 90 minute bikram class every morning. 

And I felt good. I took class in the morning, showered, had green juice and met Tina at the apartment. We had bagels from the place around the corner and made a plan for the day. I slept well in the tiny dark apartment and it was nice. 

Then I went to Wisconsin, where my mom had bought me a pass to try a number of different studios. Of the 30 classes, I'm going to end up using 5. I've slept in. I've taken a nap every day. I've laughed with my sister and cooked dinner with each of my parents. I've watched movies and silly game shows and Jeopardy (which is a game show, but not silly). I've read Ecclesiastes and books on my kindle and explored my old journals and just sat around. I've taken one or less yoga class a day and done just a few restorative poses at home, aside from the attempt to teach my sister Sun Salutations A and B. 

I think what has surprised me is how great it's been. I even made myself ignore work as much as possible - although I was tempted today to ask how practice has been going. Tomorrow night will come soon enough, though, and then I will be in Seattle and I can be on again. This is the longest I've been slow in...I really don't know. Maybe since college? I'm not sure. 

Regardless, days off kind of freak me out a little. They feel lazy and I don't like lazy for more than a few hours. I always end up baking something. Or doing a big project. Or walking 10 miles just because. But not this week. I have rested, in the fullest sense of the word. 

And nothing bad happened. I'm not anxious or bouncing off walls. I don't feel tight or bad or like I did something wrong. 

Well 

Maybe there's the faintest whisper of a should or a rebuke but it's so quiet I can barely hear it. 

Because I think I really needed this. I needed it desperately and I refused to give it to myself in my regular life. So I was given a pause. 

A pause, not a pattern. Because this can't be my real life. Because I'm about to go into meet season and I'm teaching workshops two days after I get back and classes will be taught and competitions will be happening. And I love my yoga practice and the studio and the instructors and the community and I miss it and am looking forward to being back. 

There was a moment maybe last night where I thought that I would establish one day completely off every week. But for me, I know that's not realistic. It literally can't happen some weekends during meet season if my teams compete on both Saturday and Sunday. And truth be told, I love my Sunday morning yoga and then a cup of tea and church. And I love walking to class on Saturday morning and coming back in the evening. But maybe I could commit to once a month. Maybe that's what I can take from this. 

Deep roots 

Strong ties 

Slow art