What does it mean to be good at yoga?

This morning at I Love Hot Yoga my favorite sub-status teacher was there. I love her. She is short and spunky and breaks all the "rules". The last time I had her, she announced she was setting her intention as "kick ass". Her energy is amazing, and she oozes enthusiasm from the minute she walks in the room. It was a smaller class today and when she said we were going to have fun, I knew it was true. So I set my intention to have fun and got ready to play.

And I did.

I hit more handstands than I ever have in one hot yoga practice before. And they were nice handstands, controlled, held.

Dozens of handstands, chin stands, smiles and a couple of flying pigeons later, class was over. The woman who had been next to me said,

"You are the handstand queen"

"Not always. But I had fun today", I awkwardly replied as I tried to laugh it off.

"Well, you're good"

"Thank you. Have a great Sunday"

Then Morgan, the instructor, caught up with me.

"Girl! You rocked it! What's your name again? I know I've seen you before"

"I'm Kate. I love your class. I just had you one other time but I saw your name come up and I just had to be here. It was so fun."

"I could tell. You were smiling and having a great time. And girl. Those handstands. Every time. Have you been practicing awhile then?"

"Since January"

"What?! So do you have a background in gymnastics or something?"

"Yeah, I did it through high school but it's been over six years since I trained"

"Well you are amazing! Keep an eye on the schedule so we can come play again. And let me know what you want to do and I'll give you a shout out. I got you"

"Will do! Thanks again, Morgan"

And then, later, much later, when I returned for yin.

I checked in at the front desk and the gal said,

"I saw you in class this morning. You're really good. How long have you been practicing?"

Always, awkwardly, "About six months. I did gymnastics all through high school though"

"Still! Six months of yoga. You're great. It's so fun to watch"

"uh, thanks"

These interactions always make me a bit uncomfortable, but even more so lately. I've been reading a lot on yogadork about how yoga has been made to be something trendy and cool and glamorous. I already hated lululemon but I started hating them more the more I read. I totally agree with bloggers who talk about how yoga culture is all about big, fancy, loud poses and combinations.

And is it really cool to hit all these handstands? For me, yeah, it is. It's a great feeling for me. But so is finding moments in warrior 2 where I feel so strong that nothing can stop me. It's also a beautiful thing when I don't think about anything but my breath for an hour straight (that's a very rare occurrence, I promise). I love when I find savassana and feel a complete release. I love how my back pain has no hold on me when I'm on my mat. I think what bothers me about being told I'm good at yoga is that being "good", whatever that means, is not the point. Not for me anyway. I am a yoga baby, but I would say it's far more about discovery and playing and enjoying than anything else.

And I am so excited to see what else I find.