Faithful Running

I just ran at NCAA D3 Midwest Cross Country Regionals (sounds official, right?) I didn't win, or place, or even pr. Actually not only did I come in dead last, but I also ran 2 minutes slower than my last race. It shouldn't feel this good. But I have never experienced such pure joy after finishing a race.

The whole time I was running, I was smiling. I heard my teammates cheering me on. And I repeated this, "Breathe and relax. Then smile because this moment is the only one you have for sure. When Jesus came for you, He dealt with all of your sin and darkness. All the frustration, all the jealousy, the shame, the pride, and the bitterness in your heart. He took care of that with those six hours spent on a cross. Christ didn't die for you to have a bad attitude. He died so you could be free" And then I'd smile a little bigger.

I reflected on what I did two years ago almost to the day: I qualified for my fourth YMCA National gymnastics championship. But God had another plan for me. He showed me over the next month how gymnastics had become an idol in my heart. I would skip church for meets, and youth group for practice. I spent more time making goals for each practice and listening to my floor music than I did in His Word and singing songs to Him. I felt Him asking me to quit, if I trusted Him. It was so very hard, but I was obedient.

I gave up the sport I'd lived and loved for 13 years and God gave me a new one - cross country - and I was really really bad at it. I hated running. People, including myself, thought I'd really jumped off the deep end. I was essentially stepping off that medal podium and becoming the lowest of the low.

And as I ran those 3.75 miles today, in a field of 250 amazing runners, many of whom have been running years and years just for the chance to race in that meet, I just thanked God for who He is - good, and ever faithful. I trusted Him when He told me to quit gymnastics, and I cried about it, but I did it. He pushed me into running, and when He wouldn't let me quit, I stopped fighting it. God has taught me so much through distance running, it's incredible! As I submitted my utmost for His highest, He drew me in nearer.

When I walked up to the start line, I was jumping up and down to, "I will sing it when the sun is shining/I will scream it in the dark: You are faithful! " (Yes, I did look somewhat foolish, but I made my anxious teammates laugh so it was all good)



And when I finished, still, I was singing, "You are faithful, You are faithful"

Read this out loud: God, Lord of the Universe, Creator or all things, is faithful to us- a pile of sinners with nothing left to bring, and not just faithful, but faithful to death on a cross. God is faithful. And He is so powerful and strong that He can use some of our weakest, most humbling moments to show us how true that really is.

God knew that I would learn this through quitting my strength, gymnastics, and embracing my weakness, running. He knew this was one way He could get me to trust Him. He made me do something I could not do so that I would see what He can do. I gave up what I held dear and grabbed on to something far less glamourous. But through His Spirit, it was made beautiful and precious and dear. God is so awesome!

Because of the Lord's faithful love, we do not perish; His mercies never end. They are new every morning; great is Your faithfulness! Lamentations 3:22-23

Let us hold on to the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. Hebrews 10:23

The Joys of Life

I think sometimes it's very easy to be focused on God when we're going through something. When we're hurt, angry, trying to remember that we're forgiven, when we're wrestling with questions of faith, when we have to make a hard decision, when we're feeling overwhelmed, when we're dealing with some sort of personal issue or doubt. Those aren't fun times, by any means, but they do draw us closer to God, and that's, in part, why they exist. They may not be inherently 'good' things, but our God is pretty awesome, and has a habit of turning bad things into good. And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28.

I was meeting with a mentor today, and he asked what I had going on. Now this is coming off a weekend where several of my close friends realized things they were working through, and after a few weeks where Christian Fellowship was discussing things that we're struggling with right now. I realized that I'm really not hurting right now. That could all change tomorrow, but I can't remember the last time I wasn't dealing with an issue of some kind. I feel really good about who I am in Christ right now, and what I'm doing for the Kingdom of God. I expressed that it feels weird to be surrounded by people going through something, and to truly be happy and filled with joy. He reminded me of the importance to enjoy this season of life. I can read good books and write poetry and play the guitar and go for walks. I can take a nap! (I had my first one of the semester on Tuesday). And I can be there for other people. I think that's really important. I'm not going to be clouded with my own personal drama, which will allow me to be a better listener. And someday, I'll be the one who needs support. Life comes and goes, but no matter what, it happens.

I think what God is teaching me through this stress free bliss is how to enjoy these seasons of joy. I don't have to question it, or try to find some sort of problem. I can just be happy. I can reflect on all the good the Lord has done in my life. I've spent even more time dedicated to praying for other people. I'm allowed to just be, and be happy in it.



Father, I'm really happy, and I thank You so very much for this time of my life. I will sing praise to You, and live all for You and for Your glory. Thank You for showing me how to enjoy the life You've given me for what it is. All through Jesus Christ my Savior I pray, Amen.


Praise the LORD. Praise God in his sanctuary; praise him in his mighty heavens. Praise him for his acts of power; praise him for his surpassing greatness. Praise him with the sounding of the trumpet, praise him with the harp and lyre, praise him with timbrel and dancing, praise him with the strings and pipe, praise him with the clash of cymbals, praise him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD. Psalm 150

Girl America

So I pray. A lot. For a lot of different people, places, situations. Every morning I get up early for what I call "Sunrise With The Savior", though it starts long before the sun is rising. I spend around 2 hours in prayer and with the Bible, just talking and listening to God. I think sometimes we get caught up in praying for generalities, which is ok; I'm not saying it's bad to pray for all the people who are lonely and need to be loved, for all the lost people in the world, for all sick, all the hungry, but sometimes I think we need to focus a little more.

I've been a fan of Mat Kearney for some time now, and I was listening to his song "Girl America" the other day and it really struck a chord with me.



"And I see each tear and every scar
The hands that have held you where you are
And I can see we've strayed so far
A king born under that morning star
As a crown of thorns was placed to erase
Each tear that's touched your face
And his palms and sides were pierced with spears
He hung in love just to draw you near"

I bet you know one of these girls looking for someone to love her, perhaps not knowing she's looking for Christ. Pray for her. She needs to know that someone cares about her, and she needs to know that she is worth something, worth the life of a sinless Son of Man, actually. And through his wounds, we have perfect peace.

Lord, I thank You for Your creativity in making all of us wonderful girls. We're all different and special, but You also created us with a space in our hearts that only You can fill. Let us not look elsewhere for a filler, and let us not be drawn away from Your arms. We can't thank You enough for all You do for us. In Jesus' Name Amen.

But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
and by his wounds we are healed. Isaiah 53:5

Eve Was The First But She Wasn't The Last

Hey everyone! I just got back from InterVarsity Cross Training 2010, and I thought I'd share a few thoughts.

I attending the Witnessing Communities track, and it was all about how...you guessed it...we can get groups of people together as witnesses for Christ. At first, I was sort of disappointed, because I really didn't learn new things, and I'd already been thinking/talking through a lot of applications with our chapter already. But then the Lord really revealed to me the value of the interactions with my table group, all from MSOE, as well as the reuniting with a friend I hadn't seen since graduating high school. It's amazing what God has done in both of our lives. I also wanted to say that this weekend, girl times and chapter times were absolutely amazing, and I wouldn't trade any of it(you) for the world.

Last night, there was a two hour worship session, and from the start, I felt uncomfortable in that room of hundreds of ecstatic Christians adoring their Savior. It was really weird, because usually I'm really excited about being able to worship in large groups like that. Part way through, I really felt God speaking to me. My heart started completely shattering for the millions of people in this world who never get excited about something like this, because they don't know Jesus as their personal Lord and Savior. During that time, I was hurting so, so badly, and tears were streaming down my face uncontrollably. It reminded me of a song I've prayed so many times, "Hosanna". There's a line that says, "Break my heart for what breaks Yours", but in French, it translates to, "I want to cry with You". The Lord was answering my prayers, and allowing me to cry by His side for the same things that break His heart. Everything from the weekend really fell into place, as I became convicted in the need to leave my comfort zone, go where God calls me, and bless everyone I meet.

This morning I was strongly reminded of our second track session, when we'd gone through the Bible looking for the command for witnessing communities. We'd literally gone through from Genesis to Revelation, and had talked about how Eve had caused her seeds a lot pain, but also God's promise that it would be one of her seeds that would restore the nations. We have this opportunity, to leave behind a seed of faith in every person on our campuses, and in our lives.




God, thank You so much for not giving up on us, and for hearing our cries for help. Thank You for standing by our side when we continue to try to walk away, for never letting go. Let me be a blessing to those I meet, Lord, and let I proclaim boldly the news of redemption in Jesus Christ. I thank You that my small and imperfect seed can have an impact and purpose in the mission of Your perfect kingdom. Forever I will live to worship You. Amen.


Truly I tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, ‘Move from here to there,’ and it will move. Nothing will be impossible for you. Matthew 17:20

By My Spirit

Hopefully this post will explain itself...it is based on my experiences at the Midwest Conference Cross Country Championships on October 30th. I wrote this piece and have to decided to publish it for you here.

Do you know Zechariah 4:6? If you had asked me to say it anytime before I awoke on race day, I wouldn’t have known where to start. But as I prepared to run in one of my final races for the season the same way I’d start any day, with prayer and the Word, I was drawn to this particular verse: Not by strength or by might, but by My Spirit.

This was only my twelfth race ever. My season had been so mediocre and I was getting frustrated. Two awful meets in a row, and a dreadful last tune up workout had left my confidence shattered into pieces. I took comfort in the fact that God doesn’t care if I’m a fast runner; He loves me for who I am, but I wanted to do well as an act of worship for the body He gave me. I prayed continually for strength, for perseverance. Only that’s not what I needed. I needed to let go and let God. I’d put in all the work, I had the desire, I just had to lay down my pride and surrender my race to the Lord.

At the line, I had the perfect combination of peace and excitement, equal parts thought and recklessness. I started the race with this prayer, “Father, let today be for Your glory. I am giving these next 3.74 miles to You, Lord, to do with what You will. Forgetting what is behind, and reaching forward to what is ahead I pursue as my goal the eternal prize in the heavenly call of Christ Jesus my Lord” The gun went off with suddenly and the digital beep of over a hundred watches echoed the golf course. Here we go.

I got going, and felt overwhelmed. This course was a tease – since one loop was done twice, but not twice in a row, we passed the sign for the 3rd mile just a few hundred meters into the race. Torture. I felt tired so early in, and when I hit a hill, I started to doubt. But I looked at my left hand, where I’d written, “By My Spirit”, and knew that God had me. I pressed on to the first mile, where I was surprised to hear I was far under any time I’d ever been. There was a girl from another team who was running just a little ahead of me. I wanted to pass her; I knew that I would, it was just a matter of when.

The second mile is so hard in the 6k. I felt like I couldn’t. But then the Lord said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for You, for My power is perfected in weakness’. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong. 2 Corinthians 12:9-10. How awesome it is to have the Word of the Lord written on my heart! And, by the cheers of the men’s team, I passed that girl, not long before mile two ended, and never looked back. Mile three took me to no man’s land. I couldn’t see anyone ahead of me, and the crowds were all gathered to watch the conference champion. But I sang to myself from Times, by Tenth Avenue North, “The times you doubt Me, when you can’t feel, the times that you’ve questioned ‘is this for real?...The times you’re broken, the times that you mend, the times you hate Me and the times that you bend…The times you’re hurting…In times of confusion and chaos and pain…My love I will keep you by my power alone”.

The power of the Almighty God and Creator of the universe, made perfect in my utter weakness and surrender. I kept working so hard, fighting for every step. Our assistant coach, my pole vault coach, Karl, sat at the 5k marker, waiting. I knew why he was watching so closely. I had the potential to hit a 5k pr, and milestone – in the middle of my 6k nonetheless! Sure enough, with a 32 second pr, 7 seconds under that elusive time…and a thousand meters to go. I wanted to stop right there. Honestly. My strength was gone, but as I worked it up that hill once more, again, “Not by strength or by might, but by My Spirit”. God had this in the bag. A teammate enthusiastically yelled, “keep fighting!” I prayed, “I can’t do this Lord, but You can. Not by my strength or my might, but by Your Spirit alone”

When I didn’t know how much further I could go, I managed to utter a “how far?” Karl responded, “less than 500. You’ve got this – runway!” Runway, as in pole vault runway, was my key word. It made me run fast, my legs striding out, and a slight forward lean. He’d actually brought the pole all the way to the meet, just for me. I started the acceleration; this was a huge pr. It got faster as I approached the finish shute, ending with a kick to be remembered, greeted by my head coach “aw yeah!”

That girl who paced me, the one I passed – I shook her hand, and she was so sweet. I met up with a girl from my high school at another school and exchanged hugs and laughs.

And then I was surrounded by teammates – laughing, hugging, talking, exclaiming, playing. As much I love the guys’ team, it’s the ladies I have the biggest heart for. We all worked so hard, together. We’ve seen every bit of stress, all the anxiety, the nerves, the tears, the pain, the sickness, but have been able to share in the laughs, the fun, the jokes, the dancing, the love.

And as we drove away, I thought about the race.
For all the stress that is cross country – the practices, the races – I felt like I should have been happier. I was pretty happy, but not excited. It was more relief. But I looked all around me, and I was so proud of every single girl. We had pr’s ranging from 14 seconds to 244 seconds, with my own being 208 seconds.

And I realized I never wanted that pr. If it had truly been the desire of the heart, I would have been incredibly stoked about it. No, the longing of my heart is to be found and fulfilled by Christ. “Not by strength or by might, but by My Spirit” As I reached that conclusion, I was completely flooded with pure joy and unreasonable happiness; I had been filled with the Spirit of my Lord.



So he said to me, “This is the word of the LORD to Zerubbabel: ‘Not by might nor by strength, but by my Spirit,’ says the LORD Almighty. Zechariah 4:6

He will guard the feet of his faithful servants, but the wicked will be silenced in the place of darkness. It is not by strength that one prevails. 1 Samuel 2:9

Life As A Museum: P-booking Episode 3

I'm back again! The loose cannon has been tamed. Here I am, thinking about museums.

Hmmm. I've been to many. The Milwaukee Public Art Museum was pretty sweet, even if I only went because my sister's artwork was selected to hang there (so proud!).

Then we get the Waukesha County Museum...been there a few times. It's pretty small, but was homey; I liked it because it felt like you were there really learning about people's lives.

The wonderful Milwaukee County Museum is quite the show. My favorite part is the Streets of Old Milwaukee, where you take a trip down memory lane to see what life was like yesteryear - never complete without a trip to the old-fashioned candy store!

My dad would say that the Packer Hall of Fame should count, but I don't remember much from there except wanting to leave...sorry, I just think gymnastics is much cooler.

I went to Washington, D.C. on a class trip, and made a trip to Smithsonian road. There's so much history preserved in such a small area! Although I was quite jealous that my roommate last year went and saw Nastia Liukin's Olympic gold-winning leotard in the Museum of American History.

And last year, I myself was featured in Beloit's own Wright Art Museum. I felt pretty cool, even it was just poetry and it was part of Artletics.

All of my favorite exhibits told a story, they gave me a connection to the creator, or the person it was about. Perhaps this explains my fascination with people watching - you can see so much from the way a person carries himself, what his eyes are doing, what he carries, what he wears. This world is a museum, an ongoing exhibit of life.

This is pretty exciting to think about for me. We are God's museum. Our Creator made and formed everything on this planet. It's all one big demonstration of His love and creativity. Did you know that when the Lord had finished forming every mountain, every river, every star, every animal, every plant, He said "It is good" (Genesis 1:25). And after He had made the very first man and woman, He looked around and said, "It is very good"(Genesis 1:31) ? The Lord of the universe thinks that we are "very good". That is awesome! We were made for His pleasure and glory, to delight in who He is, King of kings and Lord of lords.

What are we a display of if not that of our Lord Jesus Christ? When He returns for His creation, we will not have our money, art, or fancy buildings. All we will have is our lives. Did we worship Him? Did we make Him look good? Did we make His name known across all the earth? (Matthew 28:19-20) I don't know about you, but I certainly want my Father to take pleasure in the exhibit I paint with my life. His Spirit dwells in me (1 Corinthians 6:19-20), and I'd better make it look pretty awesome!

That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under earth, and that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Philippians 2:10-11

Breaking Out On My Own: My Favorite Subject

I haven't written here for too long; I haven't had a prayerbooking prompt. Well I miss this, so I'm breaking out on my own, to talk about one of my favorite things in the entire universe, and it is certainly the thing I value the most.

I wanted to talk about grace, because God has been showing me so much the last few months. I memorized the book of Matthew, I'm leading a Mark Bible study, and our Christian Fellowship is doing Ephesians, I heard a story of someone truly understanding grace for the first time, I watched Fruitcake and Ice Cream, where I heard this phrase, "When you get grace, grace gets you, and you have to get excited about it". I read Six Hours One Friday and No Wonder They Call Him the Savior by Max Lucado, alongside Luke and John.

I wanted to share some quotes from the afore mentioned books:

"You make mistakes. God doesn't. And He made you"

"He is not on that cross for his sins. He is there for ours...such is the definition of grace"

"What does that Friday mean? ...Six hours. One Friday. What do you do with those six hours on that Friday?"

Here's what I say: In six hours, one man changed everything in the world forever. Jesus Christ hung on the cross for all of our sins. He died for me, for every lie I've told, every time I've hurt someone, every time I looked away from God. He got what I deserved. And now, I have a chance to thank Him with my life. Live a life to honor the God who gave all He had to make it possible.

"Jesus' love does not depend on what we do for him...You are valuable just because you exist. Not because of what you do or what you have done, but simply because you are"

"To accept grace means to accept its necessity, and must folks don't like to do that. To accept grace also means that one realizes his despair and most people aren't too keen on doing that either"

"...grace doesn't have to be logical. If it did, it wouldn't be grace"

"It's not every day that you find someone who will give you a second chance - much less someone who will give you a second chance every day"

"Look at the forgiveness in those open arms and take courage. And, by the way, never were those arms spread so wide as they were on the Roman cross"

The grace of God is this: He became a Man to bear the weight of all of our sin and transgression. He took our darkness and literally became our sins, nailed to that cross. And He did it with arms wide open. Nailed open actually. So even as we remember His blood pouring out, we know that He will welcome us lovingly.

There is no greater love than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends. John 15:13

All I can say is thank You, Lord. Your grace is more amazing every day!

I am here, right now, living and breathing, because Jesus Christ gave up His life so that I could have mine. And now, all He wants is to know me, to have a personal, intimate relationship with me. The God of this world has created me for His pleasure, for His mission. I get to be a part of that! And it's all because of grace. God at work. God, not me, at work. I can't earn it, I can't prove I'm worthy of it, it's just there. It is God's gift to me, and all I have to do is accept it! Wow. I have, and I will continue to strive to live a life worthy of this gift, the best gift I've ever received.

But God, who is abundant in mercy, because of His great love that He had for us, made us alive with the Messiah even though we were dead in trespasses. By grace you are saved! He also raised us up with Him and seated us with Him in the heavens, in Christ Jesus, so that in the coming ages He might display the immeasurable riches of His grace in His kindness to us in Christ Jesus. For by grace you are saved through faith, and this is not from yourselves; it is God's gift. Ephesians 2:4-8