Tune my heart to sing Thy grace
Violins have two tuning mechanisms. When you are first learning the violin, your violin almost certainly has fine tuners. These are used to make minor adjustments; some more advanced students choose to have them put on, because they can make tuning easier.
However, not all tuning problems can be fixed with the shiny silver fine tuners. In many cases, you have to take to the pegs. The pegs are tricky because they are wooden, and the thin strings wrapped around them are silver. The pegs like to slip back and forth, and if you have a touchy violin like mine, even someone or something bumping a peg can send the violin straight out of tune.
Last night, I was walking home, exhausted. Weary. I've had a cold I just can't kick; my throat and head hurt, I have body aches. You know. I was just dreaming of that moment when I crawled into bed.
But maybe that wasn't the only rest I needed.
Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28
Augustine famously wrote, "Our hearts are restless until they find their rest in You"
And I saw that while I was trying to fine tune, to fix a problem with a small adjustment. Jesus had His hands on the pegs. He wants to change where I look for rest and for comfort. He wants to change my heart. And that takes a lot of major tuning.
But by the time I settled in with my journal and a cup of tea, I saw it. And I saw Him. I saw how He had used my walk to tune my heart to sing His grace, and it was so beautiful. I'm so thankful.
Tuesday, April 29, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
Contrasts and Catalysts
I took a long break from reading Confessions. It's not the kind of book that needs to be read consistently, and I admit that I became distracted with other titles that were easier to read. Augustine was quite the scholar, and his writing is rather profound. Today, I was struck by this excerpt (direct Scripture quotations are italicized):
"How great was your love for us, good Father, for you did not even spare your own son, but gave him up to save us sinners! How great was your love for us, when it was for us that Christ, who did not see, in the rank of Godhead, a prize to be coveted, accepted an obedience which brought him to death, death on a cross! He who alone was free among the dead, for he was free to lay down his life and free to take it up again, was for us both Victor and Victim in your sight, and it was because he was the Victim that he was also the Victor. In your sight he was for us both Priest and Sacrifice, and it was because he was the Sacrifice that he was also the Priest. By being your Son, yet serving you he freed us from servitude and made us your sons"
Still sitting in Hebrews, it is amazing to read Augustine's succinct description of what that author works so hard to show: namely that Jesus is the One who enters into the veil on our behalf to give Himself.
And the Son made us His sons by being made perfect through suffering.
Jesus is it. He paid it all, and won victory and freedom for us. He gives Himself.
"How great was your love for us, good Father, for you did not even spare your own son, but gave him up to save us sinners! How great was your love for us, when it was for us that Christ, who did not see, in the rank of Godhead, a prize to be coveted, accepted an obedience which brought him to death, death on a cross! He who alone was free among the dead, for he was free to lay down his life and free to take it up again, was for us both Victor and Victim in your sight, and it was because he was the Victim that he was also the Victor. In your sight he was for us both Priest and Sacrifice, and it was because he was the Sacrifice that he was also the Priest. By being your Son, yet serving you he freed us from servitude and made us your sons"
Still sitting in Hebrews, it is amazing to read Augustine's succinct description of what that author works so hard to show: namely that Jesus is the One who enters into the veil on our behalf to give Himself.
And the Son made us His sons by being made perfect through suffering.
Jesus is it. He paid it all, and won victory and freedom for us. He gives Himself.
Wednesday, April 23, 2014
Your Treasure Will Testify
Tomorrow, I am meeting with the Anchor die hards to talk about the first six verses in the fifth chapter of James. This means that I've been stewing on it all week, reading different translations and really digging it.
At first, I didn't have that many thoughts on it.
Today, I read Young's Literal Translation, a very old very wooden word for word translation.
I saw in verse 3
the rust...for a testimony shall be to you and shall eat your flesh as fire ye made in the last days
And in verse 5
ye did live in luxury...ye did nourish your hearts
I wrote in my journal
This passage in James has been hammering into me how important it is for Christ to be my treasure. Like we talked about last week, have a savings account, spend time with your family, do your job well - but put all your hope in Jesus. Glory in your Redeemer, and not in the things He gives. What you hold dear is what you will have to testify for you. If you have the things of this world, they will be your advocates before a holy God, but if you have Jesus, you have the very Son to testify for you before the Father.
Matthew 6:21 and Luke 12:34 say the same thing:
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also
And in case you were wondering about that whole Jesus testifying for you thing, Hebrews has the hookups
For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, saying, "I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise" Hebrews 2:11-12
We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:19-20
At first, I didn't have that many thoughts on it.
Today, I read Young's Literal Translation, a very old very wooden word for word translation.
I saw in verse 3
the rust...for a testimony shall be to you and shall eat your flesh as fire ye made in the last days
And in verse 5
ye did live in luxury...ye did nourish your hearts
I wrote in my journal
This passage in James has been hammering into me how important it is for Christ to be my treasure. Like we talked about last week, have a savings account, spend time with your family, do your job well - but put all your hope in Jesus. Glory in your Redeemer, and not in the things He gives. What you hold dear is what you will have to testify for you. If you have the things of this world, they will be your advocates before a holy God, but if you have Jesus, you have the very Son to testify for you before the Father.
Matthew 6:21 and Luke 12:34 say the same thing:
Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also
And in case you were wondering about that whole Jesus testifying for you thing, Hebrews has the hookups
For he who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one source. That is why he is not ashamed to call them brothers, saying, "I will tell of your name to my brothers; in the midst of the congregation I will sing your praise" Hebrews 2:11-12
We have this as a sure and steadfast anchor of the soul, a hope that enters into the inner place behind the curtain, where Jesus has gone as a forerunner on our behalf, having become a high priest forever after the order of Melchizedek. Hebrews 6:19-20
Tuesday, April 22, 2014
Spirit Lead Me
So, for about a year, the song "Oceans" (Where Feet May Fail) has been HOT. I'd only heard it once or twice before yesterday, but it's been posted as statuses in my newsfeed about a hundred or so times.
Yesterday, for some reason, I woke up with the bridge in my head...roughly, because I didn't really know the words. The first thought of the day, recorded in my journal, was
Take me deeper than my feet (heart?) could wander...?
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I plunged into Deuteronomy, a book I actually really enjoy, and was struck by this passage:
And when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you - with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill and cisterns that you did not dig and vineyards that you did not plant - and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 6:10-12
I read this and remembered Jesus, and grace. It is by grace you have been saved; you do nothing and you get everything.
I carried this with me to work at the preschool.
And then, my world was rocked.
I was given the opportunity for a long-term career and life in Seattle. It comes at a time when I am making some other big decisions, and this could either be a deterrent or an answer.
As I prayed through indoor playground supervision, and talked to Elizabeth, verses came to mind - I didn't have their references - I was just thinking something about not turning to the left or to the right. I found two passages that fit the bill (thanks google!)
Let your eyes look directly forward and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your feet away from evil. Proverbs 4:25-27
And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher and your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, "This is the way. Walk in it", when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, "Be gone!" Isaiah 30:20-22
And then, I started to sing
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I flipped back in my journal and saw that had been the first thought of the day. What wondrous love is this!
The 1,187th thing I love about best friend is that she can help me figure out exactly how I feel without in any way telling me how to feel.
So with all this, I'm not saying I made a decision, as I asked for three weeks, but I don't feel so anxious and in knots the way I did at first.
Stay tuned.
Yesterday, for some reason, I woke up with the bridge in my head...roughly, because I didn't really know the words. The first thought of the day, recorded in my journal, was
Take me deeper than my feet (heart?) could wander...?
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I plunged into Deuteronomy, a book I actually really enjoy, and was struck by this passage:
And when the Lord your God brings you into the land that he swore to your fathers, to Abraham, to Isaac, and to Jacob, to give you - with great and good cities that you did not build, and houses full of all good things that you did not fill and cisterns that you did not dig and vineyards that you did not plant - and when you eat and are full, then take care lest you forget the Lord, who brought you out of the land of Egypt, out of the house of slavery. 6:10-12
I read this and remembered Jesus, and grace. It is by grace you have been saved; you do nothing and you get everything.
I carried this with me to work at the preschool.
And then, my world was rocked.
I was given the opportunity for a long-term career and life in Seattle. It comes at a time when I am making some other big decisions, and this could either be a deterrent or an answer.
As I prayed through indoor playground supervision, and talked to Elizabeth, verses came to mind - I didn't have their references - I was just thinking something about not turning to the left or to the right. I found two passages that fit the bill (thanks google!)
Let your eyes look directly forward and your gaze be straight before you. Ponder the path of your feet; then all your ways will be sure. Do not swerve to the right or to the left; turn your feet away from evil. Proverbs 4:25-27
And though the Lord give you the bread of adversity and the water of affliction, yet your Teacher will not hide himself anymore, but your eyes shall see your Teacher and your ears shall hear a word behind you saying, "This is the way. Walk in it", when you turn to the right or when you turn to the left. Then you will defile your carved idols overlaid with silver and your gold-plated metal images. You will scatter them as unclean things. You will say to them, "Be gone!" Isaiah 30:20-22
And then, I started to sing
Spirit lead me where my trust is without borders
Let me walk upon the waters
Wherever You would call me
Take me deeper than my feet could ever wander
And my faith will be made stronger
In the presence of my Savior
I flipped back in my journal and saw that had been the first thought of the day. What wondrous love is this!
The 1,187th thing I love about best friend is that she can help me figure out exactly how I feel without in any way telling me how to feel.
So with all this, I'm not saying I made a decision, as I asked for three weeks, but I don't feel so anxious and in knots the way I did at first.
Stay tuned.
Sunday, April 20, 2014
Christ Lives that Death May Die
One word for today could be joy.
Another could be life.
But mostly, my church was screaming Jesus with everything it had.
And it was glorious.
Another could be life.
But mostly, my church was screaming Jesus with everything it had.
And it was glorious.
Friday, April 18, 2014
Hallelujah, What a Savior
The best Good Friday continues. Here's a description that I wrote for a friend who would have absolutely adored this service.
Good Friday, at my small, Jesus-loving, beautiful Seattle hipster church:
We're meeting in a small room tonight - we rent our space weekly. I walk in to dim lighting, and the Lord's supper on a simple table up front. Metal folding chairs line the room and kids run circles in the empty space. 4 year old Fjola holds the Jesus Storybook Bible and looks at me, saying, "Can someone please read me the story of the sick girl and the frail lady?" I sit with her and two of her brothers, and we read until the service starts.
Our pastor prays, and then sits in a chair up front. He reads 6 passages of scripture, giving space for silent prayer and meditation between each one. We take a quiet, reflective communion and then someone starts the acapella singing of O Sacred Head Now Wounded. The body stands and joins in. We pause together and lift hands to sing and proclaim, "Hallelujah, What a Savior". Our pastor comes and prays and then many join to go get ice cream together.
It was simple, beautiful, powerful.
Go On Up to the Mountain of Mercy
*Written in my journal after having run 20 miles up and down a mountain so bear with me if it gets weird*
Jesus turns sorrow to joy, and mourning to laughter. And oh how He had me laughing today. I ran up the foggy mountain and reached the creek crossing. The creek was high and fast and at first, I didn't see a way to pass. I felt my Jesus calling me to trust Him. In faith, I stepped out and found myself on solid ground, laughing as water rushed all around me.
I pressed on, asking Jesus to fill T with that simple joy that comes from trusting Him to be good, always. As I worked my way up, it started to snow. And I laughed again. Snow! I kept going, thinking of that beautiful scandalous night Jesus was slain.
I am so thankful. Thankful for T's peace and my peace and that He Himself is our peace. I look out at the cloud-covered mountains and remember that I couldn't reach God so He came down to get me. Savoring Jesus and what He's done in the lives of just two daughters, it takes my breath away. Well that, and the running. Oh, the running.
And then I'm down again and I look at the trailhead. There's a sign posted, warning hikers that the creek is impassable. I laugh again, because nothing is impossible for God. Through every high and stormy gail, my anchor holds within the veil.
I get back to my car and am trying to warm up and reflect and I think how nice it would be to hang out at the trailhead for awhile, if only I had a blanket. And I look behind me and I see a blanket I put there 7 or 8 months ago. God has been so faithful to provide.
I haven't seen or heard a sign of another soul in six hours. My car is the only one here. No one on the mountain but me and my God. And I think this is the most perfect Good Friday ever. To sit alone, and think on the enormity of God's grace. The blood that covers me. The life, the full life Jesus gives.
The same song I've had all week echos up Bandera Mountain -
Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore,
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified
This is, by the way, the Ira Spring Trail. That water that rushed all around me now fills my water bottle, and I drink and remember the living water who died on the cross for me and lives for His Father's glory and our joy. I've tasted and seen, and Jesus is Lord!
On the hillside you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that pours
From our blessed Savior's side
At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me
Were atone by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful scandalous night
Jesus turns sorrow to joy, and mourning to laughter. And oh how He had me laughing today. I ran up the foggy mountain and reached the creek crossing. The creek was high and fast and at first, I didn't see a way to pass. I felt my Jesus calling me to trust Him. In faith, I stepped out and found myself on solid ground, laughing as water rushed all around me.
I pressed on, asking Jesus to fill T with that simple joy that comes from trusting Him to be good, always. As I worked my way up, it started to snow. And I laughed again. Snow! I kept going, thinking of that beautiful scandalous night Jesus was slain.
I am so thankful. Thankful for T's peace and my peace and that He Himself is our peace. I look out at the cloud-covered mountains and remember that I couldn't reach God so He came down to get me. Savoring Jesus and what He's done in the lives of just two daughters, it takes my breath away. Well that, and the running. Oh, the running.
And then I'm down again and I look at the trailhead. There's a sign posted, warning hikers that the creek is impassable. I laugh again, because nothing is impossible for God. Through every high and stormy gail, my anchor holds within the veil.
I get back to my car and am trying to warm up and reflect and I think how nice it would be to hang out at the trailhead for awhile, if only I had a blanket. And I look behind me and I see a blanket I put there 7 or 8 months ago. God has been so faithful to provide.
I haven't seen or heard a sign of another soul in six hours. My car is the only one here. No one on the mountain but me and my God. And I think this is the most perfect Good Friday ever. To sit alone, and think on the enormity of God's grace. The blood that covers me. The life, the full life Jesus gives.
The same song I've had all week echos up Bandera Mountain -
Go on up to the mountain of mercy
To the crimson perpetual tide
Kneel down on the shore,
Be thirsty no more
Go under and be purified
This is, by the way, the Ira Spring Trail. That water that rushed all around me now fills my water bottle, and I drink and remember the living water who died on the cross for me and lives for His Father's glory and our joy. I've tasted and seen, and Jesus is Lord!
On the hillside you will be delivered
At the foot of the cross justified
And your spirit restored
By the river that pours
From our blessed Savior's side
At the wonderful tragic mysterious tree
On that beautiful scandalous night you and me
Were atone by His blood and forever washed white
On that beautiful scandalous night
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