Simple

"While life is not always simple, Jesus is"

This quote is taken from Hillary Rain's boo, and it was so striking to me. 

Life is very complicated. You get weird texts from your family and your job changes what it expects from you and sometimes you just don't know. 

But Jesus saves sinners. 

Always. 

Always saved, always being saved. 

Saved from sin to Him. 

Saved to life. 

Saved to joy. 

It's mysterious and crazy but it is, in its own way, quite simple indeed. 

When nothing makes sense, Jesus does. I can look to Him as the author and finisher of my faith and know that it is well. I know Him as the solid rock on which I stand and as long as that rock is there, I cannot fall. 

Ugh

I am tired of seeing marriage as the end point, put in place by church culture. I love love. I love marriage. I think marriage and I think gospel and oh how I love the gospel. 

But if we're encouraged to look to marriage as our primary goal, we're going to miss out. 

Boundless is an online magazine for Christians on dating, relationships and marriage, run by Focus on the Family. I have grown increasingly frustrated with it. It is so marriage-minded that I think they're starting to miss the point. Their panels feature people in their 30s who constantly complain about online dating and how they're not married yet. They feature people who call their singleness spiritual darkness, but now they're married and life is good. 

Perhaps without even trying to, they are raising up a generation of the churched to seek a spouse instead of the Savior, to find contentment in marriage instead of Christ, and to love the image of the gospel more than the gospel itself. I think there's a word for that last point; oh yeah, idolatry, you know, one of those commandments written on those stone tablets by God. 

And then they wonder why church attendance is low and why marriages are failing and why it's so hard for couples to serve The Lord. 

How different would this message be if they said, "Single? Choose today to love Jesus" I think it's great to hang out with kids and to serve in ministry and to be wise with your money and learn skills around the house. But if you do this at the cost of Jesus as your first love, then have you really gained anything? 

In Revelation 2, the church of Ephesus is called out by Jesus through John. He sees what they're doing, he praises them for their works, but then what does he do? He tells them that they have lost their love they had for him. If things don't change, their future looks pretty bleak. 

This goes to say that I think there are ways single people can prepare for marriage, but if we are not actively pursuing intimacy with Christ as our first love, it would seem that we will have gained the world only to lose our souls. 

Grace Upon Grace

For from his fullness we have all received grace upon grace. John 1:16

What a verse.

The fullness of God, manifested in Jesus, who walked among us and imparted to us His Spirit, while living ever to make intercession for us. There is saving grace that brings life and the presence of God, but there are also moment by moment graces that we become aware of through that saving grace.

As I've prayed for my kids, not only have I come to dearly love them, but I have also seen the specific way each one shows me the gospel.

Jacinda will run away from whatever it is I want her to do. But I will say her name, calmly, firmly, and she looks at me and she comes. I know her name, just as God knows mine. He calls out to me when I run and that is grace.

Ella cries. She is deeply hurt, and longs to be held. When she's shrieking, I can say, "Ella. Do you need a hug?" And she wraps her tiny arms around me and calms down. This happens maybe 10 times in a 45 minute class. The Lord knows my hurt, and He bends down to me and draws me into Him. And that is grace.

Aiden is easily distracted. And forgetful. It took a few weeks, but I discovered that if I ask if he wants to hold my hand, we can walk through the obstacle course and he will do everything I ask of him. My Father takes me by the hand and leads me along the way I should go and that is grace.

Leonie plays the victim. But of course she never does anything wrong. God is there to save me from myself and my hypocrisy and that is grace.

Sophie is openly defiant. She knows what is wrong and does it anyway. See Romans 7. Paul. Sophie. Me. You. And Jesus died for that and lives for that and that is grace.

Maliyah is timid. She wants to come and partake and enjoy but she inches ever so slowly. And God says to me Come (Isaiah 55). Jesus says Come (Matthew 11, 19). The Spirit and the Church say Come (Revelation 22:17). And that is grace.

I could go on and on over my lists of kids and what they show me but look at the graces! Isn't it incredible? Parents thank me for teaching their children, but I thank them for bringing their kids to class. And sure, I complain sometimes and the kids misbehave and frustrate me but thanks be to God for continually bringing me back to Jesus and showing me His grace every time I need it.

O to grace.

6am

This morning I went to the Anchor School class on the Pauline Epistles. The few, the dedicated, meet when Zoka Coffee opens its doors at 6am. It's a Bible study, but it's the most intense Bible study pretty much ever. It's all about what it really means to be the church, and to be a mature church, and to be making disciples. I'm super excited.

This is my binder. 

This is next week's assignment. The week after, we get to read 12 books of the Bible as homework. Intense, I told you. 

After class, I had oh, about 4 hours til work, so I went grocery shopping and then I came home and put the groceries away and did the dishes and then Elizabeth woke up! And then I was nerdy and did all of my reading right away. BUt I haven't done the project yet; that's up soon. 

Loving my kiddos more and more all the time. 

O to grace! 

Depravity

Last time I focused on my need for Jesus as a coach, and how I need his grace to absolve my sins and redeem my speech and actions for his glory. 

Today I was struck by another dimensions of depravity. People who say kids aren't full of iniquity haven't spent enough time around kids. They lie, they push, they invent stories, they disobey. All sins. And I was thinking about how my kids this morning were 3 and I'm 22 and they probably sinned at least 15 noticeable times in the 45 minutes a day and if you do that every day for your whole life, that's a lot. 

And yet Jesus says, it is finished. 

God says to Paul, my grace is sufficient. 

A Hundred Times a Day

People were given a direction for their good. They refused to follow that direction and actively rebelled against it. 

The fall? 

My life. 

It seems like a hundred times a day, my children actively disobey me. They can tell me what they should be doing, they can promise me they will do it, and then continually run off in the wrong direction. 

People need to be pulled by the hand and lead to joy and life. They must be pursued. 

The gospel? 

My life. 

When a child runs the wrong way, I bring him back. I take his hand and lead him step by step. I show her the way. And a hundred times a day, when she runs, I will bring her back and show her the way. 

A hundred times a day, I see the gospel playing out right before my eyes. I know that my kids will get more lasting joy by listening to me but all they can see is the moment of fun set before them. So they pursue their wants and I pursue them and when they listen they say, hey, that is fun. Thank you for teaching me gymnastics. 

And then next week, we will start over again because I need to see grace a hundred times a day and if disobedient children can show me Jesus, then I want them. I want to know them and love them and show them all the grace an patience with which God has led me. 

I drew them with cords of kindness...

Out And About

I went to the high school football game. My girls were so happy to see me there. I was also poked by a six year old from the gym whom I've never coached but she just likes me. She asked me questions about the game and hung out with me. Her dad came down to meet me. I ran into a coworker there as well, and she introduced me to some of her friends. 

I regularly see kids from the gym at the library or farmers market. I ran into a girl from the children's center at a flea market today. 

It feels good to feel like I'm a part of the community here. It makes a big city feel much smaller. It's nice to work in the same place we live.