Do you guys remember Chicken Soup for the Soul? I don't know if they're still making new ones, but I'm pretty sure their popularity peaked right around the new millennium. I remember that there was this one called "Chicken Soup for the Teenager's Soul on Tough Stuff" A whole book, dedicated to dealing with difficult things teens go through.
I've had some tough stuff going on around me lately, and today especially, coupled with the joys. I find myself thinking again of Job, and how God just let Satan mess with Job, confident that he would remain faithful. See the Lord wanted to use Job to show the world that no matter what happens, He's still there, and He is our ultimate source of joy and contentment. Remember how Romans 8:28 says that all things work together for our good? Well our good is ultimately God's glory. So even the worst life can throw at us is going to be used to show the magnificence of Christ. That doesn't mean everything was easy - look no further than Job and read of his agony - but knowing the Lord made it all possible.
Without going into any specifics about my situation, here's some excerpts of affirmation I got that I think are good for just about anyone.
Keep your focus
Love fiercely
Be patient
You will hurt
It is not your responsibility
Stand strong.
Sunday, April 15, 2012
And on the 100th day in Senegal...
This morning, it was pretty crazy to realize that I've only spent 5% of my 2012 in the US. This comes with the knowledge that I have just 19 days left here in Senegal. That's so little! I can't believe it.
It's not even 14h and already such beautiful things have happened.
First off, during the "let's meet the visitors" time at church, a man who only spoke Wolof introduced himself and said it was his second time coming. He is a Muslim who has been seeking Jesus and is wondering how it is possible that Christ's forgiveness could be enough for him. He asked for prayer in this time of his life. He and the pastor were speaking after service. I just thought this was all so incredible - and exactly what the church needs to be prepared for.
Secondly, during the service I shared a prayer request for my friend's sister who attempted suicide this week. I have been praying for them for some time now, and this week especially. She had made it through alive, but lasting effects were still a concern. Right as I got out of church, I got a text from my friend that said her sis was going to be ok, by God's grace.
Apparently the Lord wants to make this a true celebration, and a grand memory for me!
It's not even 14h and already such beautiful things have happened.
First off, during the "let's meet the visitors" time at church, a man who only spoke Wolof introduced himself and said it was his second time coming. He is a Muslim who has been seeking Jesus and is wondering how it is possible that Christ's forgiveness could be enough for him. He asked for prayer in this time of his life. He and the pastor were speaking after service. I just thought this was all so incredible - and exactly what the church needs to be prepared for.
Secondly, during the service I shared a prayer request for my friend's sister who attempted suicide this week. I have been praying for them for some time now, and this week especially. She had made it through alive, but lasting effects were still a concern. Right as I got out of church, I got a text from my friend that said her sis was going to be ok, by God's grace.
Apparently the Lord wants to make this a true celebration, and a grand memory for me!
Saturday, April 14, 2012
Dying of Thirst
I was thinking back to our time in Dindefello when it was so hot and water was scarce. By the time morning came, we were dreaming of the little store in Kedougou where we knew we could buy water and other cold drinks in abundance. I can remember few times in my life feeling so thirsty.
So I was listening to Lecrae today, and he rapped, "I rejected Your love, grace, kindness, and mercy - dying of thirst yet willing to die thirsty" It made me think about being so thirsty again. If someone had presented me with clean drinking water, I wouldn't have asked questions about who they were or if I should believe in the fact that this water would help me out, I would've just drunk it.
But for some reason, when the Lord says "Come, everyone who thirsts; come to the waters..." (Is 55:1), we stall. We ask hmm can we really believe that?
And what about this one?
but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:14
We are dying of thirst, we are suffering in our depravity, but we won't reach out and drink of the new life in Christ. We want to ask a million questions of Him first, of how little we can do and still be called followers, if He really walked on water. We would rather go on in our helpless pitiful state asking if we can trust Him, instead of just drinking. He has exactly what we need!
I noticed tonight when walking with a Senegalese friend that when we have to cross a busy street, I don't often rely on myself. I pay no attention to the traffic - all I do is watch him, and move when he moves, trusting that he's not going to get us run over.
If only we did that with Jesus, the living water. If only we realized that we cannot help ourselves and that we can either die, or burry ourselves in Him.
Drink up.
So I was listening to Lecrae today, and he rapped, "I rejected Your love, grace, kindness, and mercy - dying of thirst yet willing to die thirsty" It made me think about being so thirsty again. If someone had presented me with clean drinking water, I wouldn't have asked questions about who they were or if I should believe in the fact that this water would help me out, I would've just drunk it.
But for some reason, when the Lord says "Come, everyone who thirsts; come to the waters..." (Is 55:1), we stall. We ask hmm can we really believe that?
And what about this one?
but whoever drinks of the water that I will give him will never be thirsty again.The water that I will give him will become in him a spring of water welling up to eternal life. John 4:14
We are dying of thirst, we are suffering in our depravity, but we won't reach out and drink of the new life in Christ. We want to ask a million questions of Him first, of how little we can do and still be called followers, if He really walked on water. We would rather go on in our helpless pitiful state asking if we can trust Him, instead of just drinking. He has exactly what we need!
I noticed tonight when walking with a Senegalese friend that when we have to cross a busy street, I don't often rely on myself. I pay no attention to the traffic - all I do is watch him, and move when he moves, trusting that he's not going to get us run over.
If only we did that with Jesus, the living water. If only we realized that we cannot help ourselves and that we can either die, or burry ourselves in Him.
Drink up.
Xale
My host father refers to me as one of his children. When I first got here, I felt so inadequate compared to the children. They go to school, study, and do chores. Sundays, the only day off, are chores all day.
I felt so young and incompetent. But there are moments when I realize my sister is very much still a child - like when she pretends to cry when she gets upset at something small, or she just refuses to stop talking to someone. In fact, as a young teenager, some of these things in the US would just not be tolerated. Even Angeline has noted how immature her host brother is.
So although I may not know how to help very well around a Senegalese household, I like to think there are some ways that I earn back my status :)
I felt so young and incompetent. But there are moments when I realize my sister is very much still a child - like when she pretends to cry when she gets upset at something small, or she just refuses to stop talking to someone. In fact, as a young teenager, some of these things in the US would just not be tolerated. Even Angeline has noted how immature her host brother is.
So although I may not know how to help very well around a Senegalese household, I like to think there are some ways that I earn back my status :)
I Like Eating Plants
I like wheatgrass and vegetables and tea that tastes plant-y instead of fruity. I just do.
So today, when we visited the traditional hospital, I was pretty into it. On one hand, I really like the idea of natural/traditional medicines. I think there's a lot our bodies can do, and were meant to do. It was fun going on a tour of the plant garden and seeing how different leaves could be used to cure different diseases. We ate what were described to us as cherries, but they didn't look or taste like them at all. They were little garishly yellow miniature (seriously miniature) pumpkins that were sour and bitter and I loved them. I commented that I'd like to just eat a baggie of them. Walking home from lunch later, I found a woman who was indeed selling baggies of them, for 25cfa. She may be my new favorite person.
We saw where they dried all the plants and I thought it was funny to see a little kitchen, as I was pretty sure it was for making the medicines and not for actual cooking. Then we peeked around the pharmacy. Our professor bought soap.
Then we went to the part I'm less sure about, the healers, who are specially trained marabouts. We talked with him, but it was hard to get a good feel for what he does/how to works because we didn't actually seem him with any patients. So a skeptic I remain.
So today, when we visited the traditional hospital, I was pretty into it. On one hand, I really like the idea of natural/traditional medicines. I think there's a lot our bodies can do, and were meant to do. It was fun going on a tour of the plant garden and seeing how different leaves could be used to cure different diseases. We ate what were described to us as cherries, but they didn't look or taste like them at all. They were little garishly yellow miniature (seriously miniature) pumpkins that were sour and bitter and I loved them. I commented that I'd like to just eat a baggie of them. Walking home from lunch later, I found a woman who was indeed selling baggies of them, for 25cfa. She may be my new favorite person.
We saw where they dried all the plants and I thought it was funny to see a little kitchen, as I was pretty sure it was for making the medicines and not for actual cooking. Then we peeked around the pharmacy. Our professor bought soap.
Then we went to the part I'm less sure about, the healers, who are specially trained marabouts. We talked with him, but it was hard to get a good feel for what he does/how to works because we didn't actually seem him with any patients. So a skeptic I remain.
Friday, April 13, 2012
Ha!
My aunt came over for the first time since Korum has been here. Korum looks like she would speak Wolof, but doesn't. I look like I don't speak Wolof but kind of do.
My aunt walks in, greets me in French.
She greets Korum in Wolof who knows just enough to respond malekum salaam, mangi fii.
Korum and I share a knowing look and laugh.
My aunt walks in, greets me in French.
She greets Korum in Wolof who knows just enough to respond malekum salaam, mangi fii.
Korum and I share a knowing look and laugh.
Thursday, April 12, 2012
Satisfy
I've been processing a lot of things. News from home, from friends, from family. Figuring out all my final projects. The fact that I'm leaving Senegal so soon. It just seems like so much has unraveled so quickly. I kept reciting God's promises to myself, and saying that because Christ is my joy and salvation, it was all well, but I couldn't make it true enough.
Jeremiah 31:25 says, For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish. (ESV)
The Amplified adds, For I will [fully] satisfy the weary soul, and I will replenish every languishing and sorrowful person.
I wanted to dig into this, so I got out the dictionary...well I logged on to dictionary.com but you get it.
Fully: entirely or wholly.
Satisfy: to fulfill the desires, expectations, needs or demands of (a person, the mind, etc.); to give full contentment to; to put an en end to (a desire, want, need, etc) by sufficient or ample provision; to give assurance to; convince; to answer sufficiently, as an objection; to solve or dispel, as a doubt.
Replenish: to make full or complete again, as by supplying what is lacking, used up, etc; to supply with fresh fuel; to fill again or anew.
This is what I wanted. I wanted the reward of that promise. That's why I was clinging to the cross. But how would I get there?
Weary: physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc; fatigued; tired; characterized by or causing fatigue; impatient or dissatisfied with something; characterized by or causing impatience or dissatisfaction; tedious; irksome.
Languishing: becoming languid, in any way; expressive of languor; indicating tender, sentimental melancholy; lingering.
Languid: lacking in vigor or vitality; slack or slow; lacking in spirit or interest; drooping or flagging from weakness or fatigue; faint.
Sorrowful: the characteristic feeling of sadness, grief or regret associated with loss, bereavement, sympathy for another's suffering, for an injury done, etc; a particular cause or source of regret, grief, etc.
In order to be fully satisfied and replenished, we need first to be completely broken and surrendered. I had to be worn down, I had to be confused, I had to be angry, I had to be hurt. I had to be everything I was holding back. I could not continue on wavering in the middle. To be lifted up, I needed first to be brought low.
I kneeled at my bed and I sat before the cross. I cried out in agony. I pounded my fist, I sobbed. I let everything go. I wrote in my journal, surrendering the fact that the Lord's ways and thoughts are higher, and that I can't know them I can only trust Him. I asked for the grace to move forward, and for Him to light my path so I could see just the step in front of me. I felt my Father come towards me, and place His arm around me. I stayed there, as God just listened to me pouring out my heart.
And then, He gave me a song
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades, never ending, Your glory goes beyond all things. And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out
In just that one refrain, there was everything I needed to hear myself say. Lord, You are forever. Even when everything else in my life is going dark, Your light remains just as bright and is never to depart from me. Without end, You are leaps and bounds higher than anything I could encounter on earth. What I need most right now is to worship You, Lord Jesus, with all that I am, with a true heart. That alone will satisfy me. He told me what my own heart most needed - more of Him. When we worship, we learn more about who God is, and when we understand His character, we are better able to see Him revealed in our lives.
Because I had been broken, I was now ready to understand and see the power of worship.
So I will bless you as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in your name. Psalm 63:4
I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and I will glorify your name forever more. Psalm 86:12
I call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. 2 Samuel 22:4
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually. 1 Chronicles 16:11
Satisfy
Thank You Jesus for being my all in all.
Jeremiah 31:25 says, For I will satisfy the weary soul, and every languishing soul I will replenish. (ESV)
The Amplified adds, For I will [fully] satisfy the weary soul, and I will replenish every languishing and sorrowful person.
I wanted to dig into this, so I got out the dictionary...well I logged on to dictionary.com but you get it.
Fully: entirely or wholly.
Satisfy: to fulfill the desires, expectations, needs or demands of (a person, the mind, etc.); to give full contentment to; to put an en end to (a desire, want, need, etc) by sufficient or ample provision; to give assurance to; convince; to answer sufficiently, as an objection; to solve or dispel, as a doubt.
Replenish: to make full or complete again, as by supplying what is lacking, used up, etc; to supply with fresh fuel; to fill again or anew.
This is what I wanted. I wanted the reward of that promise. That's why I was clinging to the cross. But how would I get there?
Weary: physically or mentally exhausted by hard work, exertion, strain, etc; fatigued; tired; characterized by or causing fatigue; impatient or dissatisfied with something; characterized by or causing impatience or dissatisfaction; tedious; irksome.
Languishing: becoming languid, in any way; expressive of languor; indicating tender, sentimental melancholy; lingering.
Languid: lacking in vigor or vitality; slack or slow; lacking in spirit or interest; drooping or flagging from weakness or fatigue; faint.
Sorrowful: the characteristic feeling of sadness, grief or regret associated with loss, bereavement, sympathy for another's suffering, for an injury done, etc; a particular cause or source of regret, grief, etc.
In order to be fully satisfied and replenished, we need first to be completely broken and surrendered. I had to be worn down, I had to be confused, I had to be angry, I had to be hurt. I had to be everything I was holding back. I could not continue on wavering in the middle. To be lifted up, I needed first to be brought low.
I kneeled at my bed and I sat before the cross. I cried out in agony. I pounded my fist, I sobbed. I let everything go. I wrote in my journal, surrendering the fact that the Lord's ways and thoughts are higher, and that I can't know them I can only trust Him. I asked for the grace to move forward, and for Him to light my path so I could see just the step in front of me. I felt my Father come towards me, and place His arm around me. I stayed there, as God just listened to me pouring out my heart.
And then, He gave me a song
Everlasting, Your light will shine when all else fades, never ending, Your glory goes beyond all things. And the cry of my heart is to bring You praise from the inside out, Lord my soul cries out
In just that one refrain, there was everything I needed to hear myself say. Lord, You are forever. Even when everything else in my life is going dark, Your light remains just as bright and is never to depart from me. Without end, You are leaps and bounds higher than anything I could encounter on earth. What I need most right now is to worship You, Lord Jesus, with all that I am, with a true heart. That alone will satisfy me. He told me what my own heart most needed - more of Him. When we worship, we learn more about who God is, and when we understand His character, we are better able to see Him revealed in our lives.
Because I had been broken, I was now ready to understand and see the power of worship.
So I will bless you as long as I live; I will lift up my hands in your name. Psalm 63:4
I give thanks to you, O Lord my God, with all my heart, and I will glorify your name forever more. Psalm 86:12
I call upon the Lord who is worthy to be praised, and I am saved from my enemies. 2 Samuel 22:4
Seek the Lord and his strength; seek his presence continually. 1 Chronicles 16:11
Satisfy
Thank You Jesus for being my all in all.
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